Hey everyone
You lovely people always help when I'm worried and I'm afraid I'm back yet again.
After finishing chemo in June and then radiotherapy at end July, I was beginning to look forward to Christmas, especially as last Christmas was the worst ever after getting my diagnosis at the end of November 2018 and then having surgery in December, just before Christmas. Everyone was so worried, including me, about what lay ahead. Now it's behind me (or so I thought).
I've avoided examining myself for ages as the breast was tender and I'd got lots of different pains from the radiotherapy burns, lumpectomy and sentinel node they removed too. Last week I had a feel in the area of the ache and thought I could feel some generalised lumpiness/thickening (on the opposite side to where the original cancer was located). As if that wasn't bad enough, when I examined the general area of my first surgery I can still feel a definite rise and a lump, just the way it felt before, although not as big.
So, I rang the Breast Unit and spoke to my CNS, hoping for reassurance about scar tissue or whatever. However, they've sent me another appointment for this Friday and I've that awful feeling of deja vu. I'm so scared it's back. I can't sleep and I'm failing to stop the runaway terrors, although no one would ever know, as I'm keeping it inside. I'm so sick of the whole thing, scared I just can't face chemo again. Just as I was beginning to start looking forward.
Help! xx
