Emotions

Hi

welcome to the community we know you'd rather not be here but it's the right place at the minute .

We have all been where you are and believe me when I say this is the worst time ..the waiting   For treatment  or dif app. Once your on your treatment plan it does get better believe me .

my story on my profile feel free to read .

My masectomy was on 4/7 sentinel node removal (4) clear .

The op us not as bad as your imagination tells you although I will point out we are all different . Also you don't say if you having reconstruction .

I had straight forward masectomy no reconstruct . More discomfort than pain . You will be given meds ..don't be brave take them ! 

You will also be given excercises to do this helps to regain good movement .

Pre op I was Lucky and saw the boob lady at my hospital who gave me a softy boob  to wear coming out so I took a post surgery bra in . If you a small cup a post surgery sports bra will be comfortable . Asda on line sell them .

Take pjs in with button thru top ..you won't be able to get top over head also easy access for team .

I also reorganised wardrobe So button thru was first choice .

unperfumed toiletries are best I also used water wipes 

my only other tip would be please try to look at boob area after op even if just a peek hopefully not as bad as you thought .

Yes your emotions will be all over the place we usually refer to roller coaster or whirlwind things can happen so fast and yes you are angry . So feel free to come on here and vent, rage , cry whatever we here and will listen .try not to google it's out of date usually .What you need to do now is find a distraction over the weekend and try to relax . Sounds impossible doesn't it but try it will do you good .

others will be along shortly I'm sure 

keep posting 

margaret x

Hi  and welcome to the forum.

I presume that when you say that you're having your nodes removed that it is axillary clearance, so you'll probably be in the hospital at least overnight (a mastectomy is often done as day surgery).

I had my mastectomy on April this year with two sentinel nodes removed. This was done as day surgery where I had to be in hospital at 7am, spoke with my surgeon at about 8am, went for a filmed nuclear scan on my sentinel nodes then off to theatre. I was so scared that I worried they wouldn't operate due to what it did to my blood pressure! I then went from recovery to a private room, where I spent the next few hours getting over the anaesthetic and being checked for any issues. I had a drain which I suggest making or buying a bag for, as you will have it for a few days. If you are having the clearance you might have two drains, but different surgeons have different approaches. You will have probably have the drains until the amount of fluid reduces to less than 50mls a day (I know, it sounds a lot!) and this will be checked with the nurses, though a surgeon usually removes it in clinic.

You haven't said if you're having a reconstruction or not (I decided on a delayed reconstruction as I wanted to focus on treatment first, and would prefer a DIEP one), but if it's without reconstruction you might be surprised at how little pain there is. I never took painkillers for my mastectomy, only later for my level 3 clearance. 

You'll be given a leaflet with arm exercises to do, which are very important, but you need to take it easy for the first few days. It will be difficult to raise your arm far at first, but after a week or so it starts to recover quickly as long as you do the exercises. It's during that time that you don't want anything too difficult to wear, and you'll have the tube(s) for the drainage bottle(s) to deal with under or through clothing.

I didn't buy any special PJ's.just baggy tops and shirts, but if you want special ones shops like ASDA sell them online if you are interested, as well as decent and inexpensive post-surgery bras. https://direct.asda.com/george/women/post-surgery/D1M4G100C209,default,sc.html?start=40&sz=20

Stella McCartney gives away really pretty bras in October for free: https://stellamccartneycares.org/shop/mastectomy-bra

After your surgery you'll have an appointment with your surgeon once all your results are back and discussed in team meeting. This is usually about 2 weeks later, and based on what they discovered they will have decided a treatment plan for you.

It's all a bit of a roller coaster, and it's normal to feel angry, as well as upset, scared anxious...lots of things.. Please don't be afraid to come on the forum anytime. I've found it invaluable, and really have been helped by finding women who understand how it feels and can share their experiences and knowledge.There's a thread called 'Awake' for through the night if you can't sleep.

Good luck!

Thank you so much for your advice and help, I am not having the reconstruction until treatment is finished as radiotherapy can affect the stuff they use, I am having lymph nodes removed as well as Breast, all on Tuesday, it hasn’t really sunk in but I guess it will on Tuesday it just feels surreal, thank you for listening 

Surprisingly it can still feel surreal even after surgery! The first few days I was so happy my op was over.

As for grumpyness I tried to explain to family the good old phrase " It's  not you it's  me" I think people need to know how you need to work out how YOU are feeling so other things seem irrelevant at first. Sometimes you are so busy holding yourself together that an innocent "whats for tea" can be enough to leash a tirade of abuse on your nearest and dearest.  Explaining that can help a lot. I am not underestimating how hard it is for them too but at these times we have to be a wee bit selfish! Good luck.

Hi honey19, 

Glad you have joined the group, the help and support is amazing on here, I had mastectomy in June with lymph removal, the operation itself is not that bad, don’t be afraid to take pain relief if you need it, I had more of an ache than pain. Lifting your arm will be more painful first few weeks, do the exercises they give you. It all seems unreal at the moment no doubt, it’s hard but try to rest and be patient for a few weeks. Let others help you.i get days now when I can’t believe all this happened a few months ago, still get discomfort, it is hard getting clothes over your head so go for the button up type pj’sornighties, you will feel more comfortable when the drains come out, I had mine in for 5 days, sleeping will be more difficult for couple weeks, couldn’t getcomfortable but you will get there, keep in touch and all the best for Tuesday 

Rita

Hi Honey,

its all normal what you are feeling and you feel all sorts like scared, positive, angry frustrated and fed up and down. I didn’t have a mastectomy but had a lumpsectomy,breast reconstruction and 5 lymph nodes removed  10 weeks ago and then a second surgery 3 weeks after for seroma and an infection and more margin removal as I have a condition called LCIS in my breast. I was unlucky as it does not happen to everyone.

keep up with pain relief especially for the first few weeks and try to do your physio exercises as it will really help with arm movement as in the beginning you are stiff and sore. I wore loose clothes like vest tops baggy tops and pjs with no arms in them but they say button up tops. If you have any worries after surgery then call your breast care nurses as they will help you. 

I am on the journey of the roller coaster ride of the waiting game of healing and now waiting for my radiotherapy to start at the end of the month and I started tamoxifen 2 weeks ago.  I feel angry too still especially when I look at my body see my scars as well as feeling scared at the moment so I understand how you are feeling. 

Wishing you luck for your surgery on Tuesday and sending you lots of hugs for a speedy recovery. Try to look at it that the cancer will be gone soon.

they are great on here and have really helped me through my journey so keep talking about how you feel as we all can relate to you and care.

love Netty xx

P.s. sorry I forgot to add that I too had drains in after my second surgery for a week. To help I was given a bag to go over my shoulder as I would faint if I looked at the bottles and I brought some extra pillows to prop myself up in bed and help make me comfortable to sleep, especially for getting comfortable on the side with drains in as you can’t roll on that side for a while. I also found a putting pillow under my arm and body helped too and made me more comfortable sleeping and going out as a passenger in the car.

Love Netty x

Thank you netty, that’s good advice, I didn’t realise it was such a lonely place I have never been a one to talk about things as just got on with it, but I appreciate what you are saying, I would just like to disappear away from everything atm, I hope your recovery improves and will be thinking of you

lots of love mags 

I’m glad I joined the group now, it’s a lonely place having cancer mainly because I don’t like talking about it as maybe don’t believe it I don’t know, I am going shopping tomorrow for pjs I feel sick every day but that’s probably nerves, I haven’t had surgery for 33 years apart from two c section,

any more advice greatly appreciated as to what to take into hospital etc 

kind regards

mags 

hi there yes it's a very lonely place I don't like talking about it either bad enough having cancer without talking about it but I am ok on here and you will be too I am a very private person and hospital are always saying join these groups and have face to face chats no way not for me that is why I like this site because nobody can see you and you can put down exactly how you feel good or bad and you always get a response back which means a lot to me and it will mean a lot to you as well knowing that people care about you is half the battle the other battle is keep fighting on and never give up the fight xxx