it’s that time of year again, October, the month it all began, I’ve got my yearly mammogram in the morning, I keep telling myself it’s just a check up, I feel fine ( but then I felt fine two years ago, didn’t I?) what if it’s come back? I know it’s silly but I’m too scared to feel for lumps, although it was too deep and small to feel a lump last time.
will these feelings ever go away?
Will I dread October forever now?
Stupid cancer, why did you come into my life? Why did you come into OUR lives? Even though you’re gone, you’re still in my head,
does it ever get any better?
im sorry, I know I should be grateful, a lot on here are a lot worse off than me, it’s just good to get these feelings off my chest.
Love to you all, and stay strong xx
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October seems a terrible month for me too - however, in the bigger picture it 'should be a brilliant month '....
9 years back my Dad was taken ill in the October, on his brothers birthday and since then I have so disliked October (plus I'm a little OCD too, so this doesn't help either - saying this, I am looking for the 'cleaning part of OCD - this part seems to avoid me, haha, I'm more on the hoarding side arrrghh).
Now the side of October I should like is that I had my TARGET IORT treatment... "combined operation and radiotherapy" on the
""""Friday 13th October, 2017""" I am now 2 years on and have just and mammogram and have been told 'all is good' 
I should love October... right, trying to think.... I love October hmmmm - we shall see.
Sending love and hugs.
Thank you for sharing your good news Grogg - so lovely to hear - Congratulations 
xx
