i feel positive but quite scared :(

Hi , Welcome to the group! I assume you are new, or at least I didn’t recognise your name! 

I think you make an interesting point when you say “I don’t even feel ill”! Well Hun, that’s just it. For most of us we were plodding along quite happily until we found a lump or dent or other sign that something wasn’t quite right! 

Suddenly we find ourselves being poked and prodded. Biopsies being done, then results and being told “you have Cancer”! At which point you feel they must be wrong? There’s nothing wrong with me! I feel fine?! 

Well hun, believe it or not, it’s very possible that you will continue to ‘feel fine’ throughout this! Even after surgery, you might be sore and the anaesthetic can mess around with your emotions for a few days, but you ‘might’ still feel ‘fine’! 

I don’t know if you have been given a treatment plan yet? But if so that may or may not involve Chemo! Now that’s when things get even more confusing! Because you can go from feeling ‘fine’ although you have or had Cancer, to now taking a drug that can make you feel rubbish! It really can mess with your head! But you aren’t at that point yet, so one step at a time!

What I am trying to say is that with Breast Cancer, it’s not the Cancer that makes you feel ‘ill’ it’s the treatment and that’s very hard to get your head around. Until you have been through it! 

Feeling positive is good, BUT don’t be too hard on yourself on your not so positive days! We all have them! Generally when we have been over thinking things! The best advise that I can offer is take it one step at a time! Deal with things IF and WHEN they happen and not before! 

Use this site as much or as little as you need to. It can be a great support and also somewhere you can be ‘you’! That’ll probably sound a bit odd at the moment, but you’ll understand at some point! 

You are NOT ALONE! There will always be someone around to listen! Wishing you all the best Hun! Sal xxxxx

Hi LondonLass

I totally agree. Having BC is one of those times when you go into hospital " perfectly well" and come out feeling crap.

When I go into work people always tell me how well I look! I've not had chemo so I don't fit the image of a cancer patient. In fact I just look exactly the same. I find the first few sentences quite amusing as people talk to my boobs as they try to work out where I've had the surgery.

First time round my ETA didn't like to hear me say I was fine.   If I said that she knew that actually the opposite was the case. It's really just an answer for people who are not really bothered about how you actually feel, which is often shit to crap. 

Now I'm going to the Awake thread,  cos I am.