so yesterday I went for more biopsies which turned out to be a better procedure than last weeks. Today I had to return to have a CT scan. I have needle phobia which doesn’t help but I got through that. I didn’t bend my arm with the Canula in and managed to type in my phone using my other arm! Lol. Went in, lay down on the scanner bed and that was it. The tears started rolling down my face. I couldn’t stop. And this is just a scan FFS but it was just one of those moments that hit me hard. None of us deserve this. I’m beginning to feel angry at myself for feeling this way. I need to be in control and I’m just not. Luckily I can put this on here and not bother everyone at home who’s also trying to cope with what’s happening to me. Thanks for listening x
I am listening and I'm sure the cry helped.......stop bothering about being in control......if it happens....great....if not....it doesn't really matter. Just get through everything the way that suits YOU best.....how you cope easiest.You are right when you say none of us deserve this but it has happened so now we have to get to the end. I took a photo the other day which Dreamthief commented on. He won't mind me quoting here what he put
There is light at the end of the tunnel and he's so right......the light is there....climb up and over....or go through....the exit is the same point. It's waiting for all of us.
Many hugs tonight. Another difficult day over.......
Love Karen
, you aren't pathetic, you are human and you are scared. Letting out those tears is much better than holding them in, believe me!!
I found some of my most emotional moments were in the scanner or in the changing room afterwards. I suppose it's when we are alone with are thoughts and when the reality of all of this hits!
This is probably one of the hardest things you've ever had to deal with. Nobody, especially on here, expects you to be superwoman. So please don't add anymore pressure on yourself! During those moments when you feel safe enough to let the tears flow, then do!! The shower is always a good place or in the bath.
Use this site as much as you can. It's a great place for being the true you, not the fake smiling I'm fine, you! That you are probably being towards your family and friends!
This will be a long tough time, but each day will hopefully be a day closer to you getting your life back! Let those tears flow my lovely. Its NOT a sign of weakness!!
Sending lots of love and ......
Someone will always be here to listen hun! You don't have to do this alone! Sal xxx
