First year mammogram

I know exactly how you feel. I remember going for my first mammogram after a lumpectomy and RADS. I taught in the morning, then went. Following day I started same numeracy lesson again because I didn't remember teaching it.

I was lucky though, the radiographic told me to wait and she came back straight away to tell me it looked fine. They are not all as thoughtful or as confident perhaps to do that.

I'm sure you will be fine, but it is a bit daunting. I bet you are like me too and say " no I'm fine I JUST had a lumpectomy followed JUST with radiotherapy." Sometimes I think it's survivors guilt that makes us say that. But there is no JUST about it.

You had breast cancer and it leaves a scar in your head and on your boob!

Hugs

Hi youngatheart

Perfectly normal because of the reason you stated...

It takes you right back to a scary time.  You aren't overreacting, just being aware of everything this led to before.

Fingers crossed you will soon get the news you deserve and can put it to one side until next year when you will probably feel the same way, but as the years go by the apprehensioin wanes.

Although the worry may have saved you paying a deposit to Thomas Cook for that holiday :-/

Good luck,G n' J

Thank you both. Yes I do feel I little guilty compared to what others have been or going through. Keeping fingers crossed. Feel so sorry for all involved in the Thomas Cook fiasco X

Fingers crossed for you youngatheart, I am following you on the timeline, first mammogram next Monday. Similar story too, lumpectomy and node sampling last October, rads in January. Feel just like you, in my mind my life is back ‘on hold’ but outwardly carrying on as (new) normal. Also dreading the squashing of bad boob which is still tender around the scar. But dreading the waiting (and possible result) far more. Hugs to you, HFxx

Hi youngatheart

I'm guessing you were ER+ as no chemo?  I was exactly the same.  I felt I had a really 'easy ride of it' as no chemo, the 15 rounds of radio.  On my first annual, I was 100% convinced that it would be back - it was actually a total shock to be told that everything was fine.  That first year, the radiographer went and found a doctor as I said that booking my holiday was dependent on the results and I got the results immediately.

Second year, I was told that now 2 doctors have to look at the results and can ring in a couple of weeks - so you may not get told straight away.

But, yes, as everyone says it is perfectly normal to feel convinced that it's back.  But now I try and think that as I'm taking the tablets and operation/radio has killed all the cells, I have more protection that ever from getting cancer in my breast. Doesn't always tell my mind that, but that's what I try and think to avoid myself worrying about it all the time.

Big fingers crossed that they can tell you straight away that everything is fine.

Best wishes,

HappyFeet1 My boob has been very tender too, especially around the lumpectomy scar and lymph node scar. I took some paracetamol before my appointment and it wasnt that bad. I had imagined far worse. Good luck X

I am not quite at the stage of my first mammogram yet after having lumpectomy, chemo and rads, but am in a state already!  I have had pain in boob since op was done, and after lots of anguish and worry, some physio was offered to me to try and improve the pain and scar tissue which I have been told was normal.  I cant see any improvement after all that has been tried.  I found it hard to have mammograms before as it was always painful, but the thought of it needing done again after what it has gone through is unimaginable!  When I commented at my last clinic appt, I was told it was that or nothing.  Surely there is another way to check it out?  I am already paranoid at what I feel myself when trying to do my exercises for the scar tissue so I desperately need some reassurance.  It just doesn't seem to come!   Everyone I speak to says it is 'normal' to feel like this, but I seem to have gone from acceptance to worry again.  I was diagnosed a year ago so it has been full on since op in October.  Still taking Herceptin and Exemestane so thoughts never get a chance to go away.

Dear youngatheart, 

I am sorry you are feeling like this.... but..... it is normal, you are not overreacting.  I was just like this last year and posted on here.  
I could not understand why I was feeling so sad and down with it all.  Slowly little by little it dawned on me.... anniversary are 'normally' happy times, yet this anniversary was bringing the whole life event to the front of my mind, something that maybe didn't happen at the start because we are forced to get straight onto the 'roller coaster ride', we never had the chance to take any of it in, it was something we never knew anything about and for most of us, something that happens to others.  So, now this time around 'we start to reflect on whats happened to us, who are we now, what happened to the person we was before all this' so much is bought up along with the added worry of what will this mammogram show. 

Just like Dreamthief, lesleyhelen, Happyfeet1, Silverberg have all said 'you are normal to feel like this'.

This is my post from last year, so you can see 'you are normal'.....

https://community.macmillan.org.uk/cancer_types/breast-cancer/f/breast-cancer-forum/170732/mammogram-s-and-anniversary-s-not-quite-how-i-had-expected?Page=0#1274751

This all said, I am due my 2nd year mammogram in a couple of weeks and already I can feel the same feelings coming back - as yet thought not as bad as last year, I'll let you know in a week or so arrrghhh!!

I would like to add, any ladies if your mammogram starts to hurt please speak out at the time.

At my first year mammogram, the pain caused from the amount of pressure applied by the machine was horrible.  I actually worried that 'having the actual mammogram might cause me to have "problems" or even damage to the operation area'.  I mentioned this "afterwards" at my check-up/results.  I polity went on and on to my Consultant about how I didn't realise 'how painful a mammogram can actually be and how I had not had one hurt like this, etc'.  I was told that 'mammograms should 'not' be painful, especially not to the point of hurting, maybe just a 'slight discomfort' nothing more.  If it is anything more to speak out at the time and let them know... lesson learnt, I certainly will.

Thinking of you all going though this, whether you are waiting results, waiting treatments, in the middle of treatments, waiting scans....

The knowledge from the people on this Forum is absolutely amazing - Together we are stronger  xxxxx

hi What happened

Interesting points you made there.  Do wonder if the advice that a mammogram shouldn't hurt was from a man!   I had had a 'clear' check up only 10 months before I noticed my nipple was changing and went to the GP.  At the follow on, one stop clinic 2 mammograms were done and it was eye watering!!  I have small boobs and the operator apologised, but said the pressure had to be like that to get the best picture.  I suppose they are doing it all the time and 1 patient will just be like another one to them.  I can't even give my own boob a squeeze without it making me cringe, so the thought of real pressure is frightening, let alone the wait for a result!

I do agree though everyone going through this journey has a unique story and as we chat it helps anyone out there who are just wishing for a return to a .'normal' life.   You are all amazing!!

Take care folks xx