Large lump and don’t know where to turn

Morning Yanyan

This bit is definitely the worst bit and as the others will al agree. Once you know what's going on,one way or the other, you'll feel much better.

My children are older this time round,this is my second bite of the cherry. The first time they were 18 and 20. My son was in Afghanistan with the RAF. I spoke to the padre to ask his advice on whether I should tell him what was going on. He told me that they prefer to know, they want to be part of the support net work. My daughter told me she wasn't a child any more ,she was a grown up. She actually went to the hospital for the triple tests with me. Maybe your daughters would feel the same. I find it difficult to hide how I'm feeling when I'm on the phone, so perhaps they are already aware that somethings wrong.I'd give them the chance but you know your children better than me.

Meanwhile deep breath, head up and take it one day at a time. Big hugs.

Hi,

take a big deep breath.

The waiting for the appointment is absolutely the worst, it really is the hardest time. 

I had a regular mammogram on 24th april and then got a call back on the 15th May then had to wait until 24th May for biopsy results. The wait from the 15th to the 24th was so stressful. The radiologist/BCN at the 15th had more or less told me it was v likely to be cancer.

I told my partner and my sister who were both great. 

I would take someone with you to your appointment. Although you don't want to worry anyone you may need the support. It may not be cancer but i know you will worry even if i say that, i know i did.

try to take one day at a time and do anything you can to distract yourself.

Let us know how you go on.

hugs xxxx

yvonne

I know you would rather not be here but welcome .

As Silverberg has said the waiting is the worst part of this whole procedure ,we have all been there with varying results so know how you feel .

My children are older and so were involved daughter came to breast clinic with me instead of hubby because we knew she would cope better. 

It sounds like you have a good supportive GP so if you have questions go back .write questions down as they pop in head so you don't forget . 

You have arrived at the right community for support wether it be to ask questions ,rant,vent emotions or even laugh cos some of us we are a bit mad. The Awake thread is there for when you can't sleep .

take care more will be along shortly to chat I'm sure .

Hi there

The waiting is the worse, everything goes through your mind day and night, I had a mastectomy in June, diagnosed with bc in April. Between April and June it was really stressful waiting for tests, results etc. You will need to have support from your family , I told my children when I had concerns before the diagnosis. Obviously they were very upset and we all had a good cry many times but they knew exactly what was happening throughout the tests and treatment. It is a very scary time but we are strong and you will get through  this awful time. When I think back time has gone so quick but I know at the time of waiting to find out every day and night was very long.My best advice to you is to take a day at a time , you will get the strength from somewhere but please tell your family and let them support you. Getting on this support group and sharing with us all , will definately help you on your journey, we have  been where you are and understand what it really feels like so take care and keep in touch

Regards

Rita x

Thank you all for your replies. It means a lot to have the support and somewhere I can talk to others. I’m just dreading the next few days and have no idea how I’m going to get through it all xx

Just wanting to say hi and add my support to what others have said.  The waiting really is the worst time, but you will get through it.  My children are early 30's, I didn't tell anyone except my partner at first (but he was amazingly supportive so I didn't need anyone else).  You should have someone to lean on so if not your partner maybe a close friend?  There is also an amazing support network with MacMillan, Maggies, Breast Care Haven etc as well as the Breast Care Team at the hospital.  I'd no idea before this all started just how much goes on behind the scenes. For me, telling others made it more real and I didn't want that. Once we had the diagnosis we did tell everyone important and they have all been very supportive and helpful.

Try to find things to occupy yourself with that takes your mind off things.  I got the results of initial biopsy, Ultrasound etc on the morning we were going on holiday, so knew it was Cancer but needed further investigation at a different hospital as there were other areas of concern and needed a mammogram guided biopsy. Car all packed and straight off after seeing the consultant. Had a cottage booked in Lake District, drove up wondering how I was every going to enjoy the week off but actually we did manage to have some days when I didn't think about it at all.  I'm a keen amateur photographer and once I get a camera in my hand I'm away and the Lake District was the perfect distraction.  I'm not saying it was easy and I did keep bumping back down with a jolt of reality but having something to take some of the strain away did actually help

Hang in there, there's still a good chance this might be nothing and if not it's very treatable. And now you've got us, we're here to send love and support when needed.

XOXO

Thank you so much for your reply. This ‘And now you've got us, we're here to send love and support when needed’ made me cry ... x 

My hubby is ok supporting me to a point. We’ve been married almost 5 years but went through a really difficult stage just literally before I found this lump so it’s been doubly difficult. He’s one of those that thinks ‘until it’s confirmed I should just get on with things’ which in reality is not what I’ve managed to do. I’m self employed and have taken some time off just to try and cope with myself. I just feel the need for someone to be there for me with hugs and reassurance I’m not walking this path alone. I’ve a few friends that know, I’ve no parents but have two brothers. One knows but he’s 400 miles away, the other doesn’t know but has just gone on holiday so will wit till he gets back. I have two daughters. My eldest is 19 and at uni but has her own health issues as she was diagnosed with chronic Crohns earlier this year. My other daughter is 17 and still at home. I’ve not told them anything. Last night my youngest was poorly and there I was looking after her thinking who’s going to do this for her when I’m gone. My thoughts are at this stage So this is where I’m at. I’m desperately trying to keep busy. Last weekend I was away on a pre booked weekend ..... I actually did the great north run half marathon but this weekend there’s nothing planned. There’s a scarecrow festival on in the village I live in, so I’m thinking I might take a walk around it to take photos (I’m also a keen amateur photographer). There’s still part of me who wants to run away though .. but that achieves nothing I know. Xx

hi Yanyan10

I was all for hiding in the nearest hedgerow but it does make sense to get it looked at, I had a huge tumour but it wasn't spherical, it was flat, when I was reading into it there seemed no hope at all.

That was almost 5 years ago.

Most of my affected area was DCIS which is the very earliest stage where the cells are just beginning to look suspicious.

Go and get some photos, it's supposed to be sunny this weekend.

hugs

Carolyn

xxxx

Just to let you know that I’m thinking of you at this most stressful time. The fear is deeply personal and, I think, only those that have been through this ‘process’ really get it. My husband just didn’t know what to say or do and, to be honest, I’m not sure anyone does. I couldn’t cope with telling anyone til I had been diagnosed and had a plan - even then only a few friends knew - I found isolating myself easier to cope with....I did go to my gp and asked for help (I have always had some level of anxiety) and was prescribed something to help and it has. 

Distraction is good but I struggled to stay focused....I did a lot of walking at all hours...the dog was most confused!

Sending hugs  

Well done on the run, that's great.  Go grab that camera and try to loose yourself for a little while.  It won't fill all the time but getting a bit of a breather will help with the times when it gets you.  I joined a year photo challenge on FaceBook at the beginning of the year before any of this appeared on the horizon and have tried to keep up with it as it pushes me to think of other stuff.  Have flagged a bit recently though but it did help me through those waiting and worrying weeks.  My partner, also into photography also set me challenges to try to keep me occupied.

And don't forget, this is very beatable, especially when caught early and IF you happen to fall into the lower % bracket and have something that needs treating, you will come out the other side and be here for a long time to come.

Go get those scarecrows.

XOXO