Emotional side effects

Hi

it is hard isnt it?  I was diagnosed jn July 18 and am still undergoing active treatment (see my profile) and I am grieving for my old life and haven't yet come to terms that I will never have that life back.  But I think this is normal.  I think everyone experiences this.  Not that this makes it easier!  I saw my gp this week and she thinks that at the moment my emotions are normal for what I am going through.  But to go back if the world starts turning black.   I am tryi g to build something to look forward to everyday.  Not always possible.   I am working very hard at not sinking into the black hole.  

I do hope you have some support around you.  But this site is a good place to share your feelings.  It can feel better just to write it down and share.  And we all u derstand and support each other on this site.

Lots of hugs and understanding 

Hi Insomnia,

yes, it’s difficult to reconcile the ‘new’ You as the same person but with some changes, both physically and psychologically. You were affected at such an early age though, really tough. 

i am finding anxiety a problem far more than I did pre cancer, whether it will ease or not, I’m not sure. My body image has changed but I am ok at recognising that I still look the same clothed, it’s just in the nude I am very aware of how different my mx boob looks. Thankfully I saw my implanted boob almost immediately (it was glued) and I think that maybe helped. I am coming to accept it more all the time but my main worry is obviously about whether the cancer really has gone. 

I knew I could get access to nurse counselling and knew the nurse concerned as I’d met her when our daughter was having treatment for lymphoma a distance away (long story, it’s on my profile) but the unit locally was still finding its feet and I was involved in helping set it up to become a friendly, informative place. I did have a couple of sessions after the bulk of my op and follow ups were over, being aware I was struggling a little with stress (had succumbed to severe hives between SNB and mx) and it helped me get things into better perspective, and there’s an open ended ability to seek help again any time too. I would advise anyone to accept any psychological help offered, a major body image change can be hard to get to grips with, and breasts can sometimes be a big part of our femininity. 

An interesting thread.....

hugs xxx

ps, I am a stressy, anxious person by nature!

Hi it affects us in so many ways. My children were 3,5,9. At the time I was diagnosed. All I could think of was would I see them grow up. The anxiety increased every ache and pain was a scare and the questioning my mind was always was the cancer coming back. I never look at myself without clothes on any more. I know a lot of people say they see their scars as battle scars. Perhaps I am not that brave. I just feel sad whenever I see them at the life I could have had and all the things I have missed. The worst wondering if I would see my children grow up. At the moment so many feelings I can’t explain. A deep sadness within my heart.   Never being able to wake up and think it’s a lovely day nothing to worry about. Because it’s always there particularly after a recurrence and knowing that it can still come back at any time. That’s the price we pay for our lives. I know they talk about the pink and fluffy but there are no words when you stand in front of the mirror bald one breast missing. Weight gain from the drugs. With your  life in tatters. Love to everyone.