Newly diagnosed terrified. Feel like life is over.

Hi Henty, 

I do know just what you mean. You can feel very abandoned at times. Even the better units don’t necessarily give the support we need, especially emotionally. Which is why we are here. 

Advice for what it’s worth. Give the breast unit a call first thing tomorrow morning or even today and leave a message for them to call you back. No harm in chasing up your referral. 

Dont feel you’re making a fuss either. This is huge. Sometimes it makes sense, sometimetines it makes no sense at all. I often find when people tell me that I’ll be fine that’s when it makes least sense if all. Because a diagnosis doesn’t feel fine. It feels and it is life changing. Even if at the end of the day the way it changes our lives is not as terrible as our fears. 

Sleep. Don’t worry about it. I found I was awake in the early hours and that was it. Do you have a journal of any sort. It can be really useful to have a dedicated place to write down your thoughts and feelings and questions. I have all my appointments in mine too with all my questions for the medics/nurses and the notes I make when at appointments. That way it is all in the one place I need them and I’m less likely to lose the info which is really reassuring as I am not the most organised of people. I also have my to do lists in there and looking back it is surprising how much I got done in those dark hours of the night. Banking, admin, washing and if you need to chat in the night there is an online group for those not sleeping too. 

When it comes to food. Also get that. I lost a load of weight during the diagnosis period. Couldn’t eat either. Don’t beat yourself up about it but let yourself eat those things you might just want. Oddly my snack was cereal with ice cold milk and cream. Something I haven’t eaten since I was a kid! I’m warning myself off it now as ever since the op - full mastectomy, lymph node clearance and reconstruction my appetite has come back. 

Anything else you need or want to chat about just go online. We’ll get back to you and if you can tell anyone in physical life do. It really helps to have people around you. 

Hope you get news of your referral soon. 

Xx

Chat group for the middle of the night is awake thread. Don’t know how to link you to it but it should turn up on search button. 

Xx

Thanks for your reply it helped. I now have an appointment with the consultant next Thursday so things are moving. Been away for a few days and did feel better to get away for a while. My family are wonderful and helping me get through. Love Henty xx

Hi Henty,

So glad you're feeling better. The worst time for me was def those first 3 days. There is so much treatment now and amazing drugs.I had a mastectomy on Monday and it wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be, even emotionally. So glad your family are supporting you that counts for so much. It will be a long haul but you will get through it and come through a stronger person. Sending you a hug

love Janet

Hi Janet,

I am coping better than I was, feel better now things are going ahead, felt so lost this time last week. All hugs are appreciated!! Hentyxx

Hi Henty, 

so glad it helped and even more so that you are being supported by family. It is times like this when we can really see how much we are loved. Soak in it if you can. Hope all goes ok on Thursday, I will be thinking of you. Xxx

Just seen your last post. Sending hugs too. 

Hi Janet, 

Monday probably feels an age away by now but it really isn’t. You take time and care and gentleness. You have done incredibly to come this far and I just wanted to send you live prayers and hugs as you go into your weekend. I really hope that you are being well looked after and you are able to take it easy with no pressures. 

Hugs - gentle ones for both of us

xxx

Thanks Pollydog - I feel I have it easy compared to you with your two boys and a job. I'm 69 and retired with a husband of 2 years who is really supportive. I've had to give up my volunteer work mostly church related but others are filling the gaps. I've two daughters both with 2-3 year olds and another on the way. I've been looking after one while her mum works but the other grandma has stepped in.

Have you started chemo yet? Sending prayers and hugs to you too. Staying positive is the key and good nutrition to help the body fight.

Janet 

xxx

Hi Janet, 

thank you. No not started chemo yet. Seeing the oncologist today to agree to treatment. Expect it won’t start for a few weeks as there is a bit of a wait in our unit.

i will probably post later to say how it goes as deciding on whether or not to have chemo has been a tough call. Thank you. 

How are you doing now a week on? 

Hugs xx