Very long story, shortish version...... unfortunately my test results show that I need chemo and I’m booked in as such and will get a start date through soon.
As to my back bruising and the swelling, I saw a BCN today and she thinks it could still be post op problems and that I’ve caused the bruising by touching it (not sure about that one if I’m honest). Possibly lymphedema or a seroma (think that’s how it’s spelt). End result I’ve got an appointment Thursday to see the surgeon again.
I know absolutely nobody in their right mind would choose to have chemo but for me hibpnestly I am truly scared. I’m actually more scared of it than having cancer itself, is that crazy or normal, what’s normal anymore anyway!!
I don’t understand any of the chemo terminology but maybe one of you can help me???
I’ve chosen a 4 cycle treatment not the 6, I just get more of it over a shorter period of time, my choice.
It’s EC, epirubicin and cyclophosphamide and I’m having Zoledronic Acid to help prevent bone cancer, I think that’s why anyway.
I think I’ve seen a chemo group on here but I just don’t understand all they talk about as such.
Sorry if this is a long post but feeling pretty damn p@&*ed off at the moment.
Aw jacks obvs not you wanted to hear, and can understamd why you would feel so worried by the thought of chemo, think many of us would feel the same, or have for those going through it already, didn't opt for the shorted course but more intense course?
Oh Jackie I'm actually crying for you as I know this was your worse fear and so hoped the results would go the other way. I know it will have hit you like a ton of bricks so don't go worrying about finding your brave face straight away. Be angry, upset, whatever and then in few days you will doubtless come to terms with it a little more. Pretty sure I'll be in your position in months time and pretty sure I'll be feeling the same and you will be there supporting. Good that you at least have a little control regarding number of cycles etc.
I think possibly only way to try and see it is that the chemo is your insurance for the future so in a wierd sort of way it's not the enemy. Sure you won't see it that way right now and easy for me to say but was having a conversation with my aunt yesterday who had chemo 20 years ago and she said that chemo may well be why she's here healthy as anything at 79. (Incidentally she didnt suffer much at all on it and the medication to combat nausea etc wasnt as good then).
Really can't help on the terminology but have seen posts on here which explain things quite well. Maybe start a new post and then somebody will pop along with the link to info? And sure Ali and Bigguy will be able to help too.
Hope you have hubby with you giving you all the love you need. If it weren't for distance would be rounding up 'the operation' gang and heading Kent-wards with hugs and chocolate.
Ah I feel for you as I'm feeling pretty much the same! Im dreading it too and I'm having the epirubicin thingy along with the other noxious substance you said but then I'm having 3 cycles of Docetaxel or taxotere or something horrible like that but I've not been offered the bone protection maybe I should ask for that too and have the full hit!! I haven't got bruising but I've had aches to my upper back over the last couple of days which my hubby thinks is anxiety because of the chemo looming but I'm thinking it's something worse because im totally bonkers and barking mad after all this nasty poop hit, so I'm sorry I can't assist with the chemo stuff but just wanted you to know I feel the same s##t scared too but we will get through it I'm sure :/ xx
So sorry to hear that you’ve got to have the dreaded chemo. I’ve only had one cycle so not an expert but as JammyR says, I’m happy to answer any questions etc.
Don’t worry about “normal”. Normal is whatever is right for you and yours. Blow everyone else!!
I sobbed when the dr told me I’d got to have chemo, hubster had a tear or two as well. I was a mess. I didn’t take hardly anything in that she told me as too upset. So, you’re definately on your own being upset.
Big love to you, you will get through this thing. We’ll help each other. Aliblue is 2 days ahead of me with her cycle and J think Aspen had hers around the same time to. You really are not alone in this.
Doh....wrote a long post to everyone after replying to Jackie and my phone won't post it for some reason.
In essence was just saying:
Jolly - have a great time away. Hard to put BC worries away when have an appt looming but hopefully you will have plenty of distraction these next few days.
Leolady- really hope you've had a better day and the lurgy gives it a rest. I think like me you are feeling the effects of 2 operations close together. I'm not unwell as such but very run down and sleeping in the day which isn't like me.
Deb- I've got back/rib twinges on other side so naturally have jumped to all sorts of conclusions. Logically just change of sleeping position and fact I'm using that side tons more but honestly I could make a list of all the twinges I think are cancer. It really does mess with our minds doesn't it !
Joanne I think a ton of bricks has certainly smacked me in the face. I hoped it would be low but inside I just knew it was going to happen.
The onco I saw today was a different one as mine is on holiday. He was great, down to earth and understood why I wanted to say no.
He actually offered me this info.... ‘I often get asked if I would tell my wife to have chemo if she was sitting in your chair with your results. I am a very cautious man by nature but given the facts infront of me I would say that she should have it.’
He said the cut off for the oncotype test there is 25, mine was 21 so he thinks I did the right thing by having the extra Endopredict one too just to be sure as it showed that I had a higher risk of secondary within 10 years.
I know you have a chance that you may need to go down the same route and you’re right I will be there for you as will all of us.
Your aunts story is a really positive one, crikey I wonder what us ladies will have to talk about on here in 20 years :-D
Debs I’m not sure about the things they will give us yet and moreso what the ones you are having are. I will do what Jammy suggested and put a new post on here, I’m hoping some ladies will be able to help me.
As to the Z acid one it’s for the bones I’m sure of that, it’s given during chemo then again every 6 months I think for 3 years. Im not sure if it’s because I’m post menopausal, honesty my brain is frazzled with all of the info. If you’ve been offered it then maybe ask them a bit more but if it’s goung to help you then do it.
Bigguy thanks for the offer re any questions. Strangely I didn’t get upset, I thought I would be in a heap. It was once I got outside and spoke to my dad on the phone, bang I was off like a baby. My OH has been amazing bless him. He’s taking an extra couple of days off work and not going back until Monday now. It gives us a chance to get a few bits sorted before my chemo starts.
We certainly will help each other and any of us that end up on this path to recovery.
I can’t express in words just how much this group of you really special ladies has helped me through each day over the past couple of months, just amazing!!
I had a fab nights sleep one of those like in the early days of parenting when you wake up to find the sproglet has slept through the night and so have you. Then I read all your posts.
Blimey Jacks what to say. A row of rude expletives. But lots of hugs coming your way. There is a lovely lady on ‘ counting my blessings’ uses Happybird as her monica. She’s just coming to the end of her chemo etc she might be able to give the advice and support you need. Obviously we will all be here with words of comfort and kindness
Jammy I think you hit the nail on the head. 2 ops in 6 weeks. That’s the bugger. 2 head colds and an infection. We’ve got this bas@@@@ cancer and fighting that so don’t add anything else.
Your aunt what a trooper 79 and not out.
We have a lovely South African friend staying with us. She’s had a double mx. She is on Tamoxifen and more tables than you could find in Boots. Her whole journey has been so so different to ours. Amazing how her op, treatment etc is just different. But been lovely to have someone to chat to. She said even now she gets something slightly wrong and convinced herself she’s back on the journey.
Jacks and everyone out there let’s kick these bad ass guys into shape.
Remember the anthem ‘ I get knocked down but I get up again’ I’m singing it loud and croaky for you today Jacks
Right my hubby is going to feed the 5000. Got a couple of loaves and fishes.
Take care
Leolady xxxxxxx
Life is like a boxing match, defeat is declared not when you fall .....But when you refuse to stand up again .......So, I get knocked down but I get up again. x
