Thanks all for your lovely support for my worries. I have been talking about counselling but never getting round to seeking any out but now that I am at least clear of chemo, I will. I need to get out what is running around my head. I'm probably just a naturally glass-half-empty person - thrown into sharp relief by a twin sister who keeps telling me to think positively because we 'create our future' that way. I don't believe that bollocks, TBH. Certainly didn't wish 4 miscarriages on myself.
I know we all worry about the same thing. Once you are on this rollercoaster there is no getting off and you are not in control. We need to place our trust in the professionals and hope. The best strategy so far has been to break my treatment down to the next thing in front of me - ie each chemo cycle, then op, etc. Doesn't seem so overwhelming. Maybe I'm worrying more about my operation than I realise, or maybe it's steroid come-down. And yes, Jackie, I had a couple of nights rubbish sleep on the steroids which always does for me as I'm a really good sleeper, but slept better last night. I just need to keep believing that all will be well.
Hi all, hope you are all having a pleasant weekend and the SE are not interfering too much !!
I haven't been posting this week for two reasons I couldn't log in to reply and I have had one of those pile of poo weeks. The T truck ran me over , that's 5 days of my life I will not forget. I think I took it hard because the FEC wasn't too bad to me. But boy this T bleeping chemo"yack". I couldn't eat because it went straight through, sore throat and yacky mouth, the hot and cold sweats and sore feet. All easing off now. My bloods came back yesterday evening with my white cells all to pot so got called to the out of hours Dr at the hospital. Got checked out and because I have been out of breath abit and sniffly antibiotics were prescribed. The nurse who I saw last night was great as she had been through all of this chemo stuff with bc. She asked if I had got a payment from Macmillan to cover heating , hats etc. She got about 400 pound. Just wondering if anyone on here has managed to get it!
She also mentioned the pineapple for the mouth, so that's on my shopping list. Another tip she said to help hair regrow, she used cinnamon shampoo from the body shop that comes in a form of a soap tablet.
I must mention a special thank you to Deb09 who has been keeping me going this week with her positive messages.
- That's crap, Jan. I've had same mouth/gut problems with T. Awful. Am on day 4 of last T cycle and it's all just kicking in but just going to have to push on through it. Keeping my fingers crossed that you don't get infection with the low white blood cells. I've never heard of that payment from MacMillan. Thanks for the tips. Glad you are feeling a bit better.
Aspen I’m sure you mentioned counselling on here before, maybe it is time to just do it! I think many of us have considered it, I know I have but there seems to be like a barrier that needs crossing before we actually feel comfortable in doing so.
Probably not the best thing for your sister to say, I’m sure none of us created a future with BC that’s for sure.
I have done the same, broken down the treatment into sections. I have already had my surgery and chemo, just RT to go. Now I agree you may be worried about your surgery and why wouldn’t you be. This may be of no consolation at all to you at the moment but I can honestly say the surgery for me was a breeze compared to chemo. I have absolutely hated chemo and what it’s done and surgery didn't come close on the making me feel crap scale and you've already done that horrible bit.
No amount of anyone else saying ‘don’t worry’ can stop the roller coaster ride for you but knowing you have support and a place you can say anything you want here without being judged or told to buck up your ideas is a haven.
Sending you an even more mahoooosive hug than last night xxxxxx
P.S I also had my first really good night sleep for ages, 9 hours Wooo Hoo. Xx
My surgeon made me a appointment for one year from when he last saw me, so December is when I go for mammogram and ultra sound.
Think everywhere has got to have same time scale but maybe they will contact you nearer the time, if you are worried about something sooner call breast care nurse.
Jbee66 - Ah thankyou Jan but you have been a great help to me too when I've been at a low point which of late is quite a lot! I've not heard of that payment either but would be something worth looking into! Iv'e been and bought 3 x bottles of fresh pineapple juice along with fresh pineapple to eat too to see if it helps before my next nasty T dose on Wednesday! I will also get some of that shampoo too if it helps to get my locks back as they were before this nitemare! Glad that you are sorted with some antibiotics and hopefully you will be feeling back to normal soon and be able to enjoy some se free days! Big hugs Deb xxx
jacks77 - How’s your taste?? Hope it’s resolving and a kind soul has found you an Easter egg to replace the one that was ruined :-(
JammyR - I’m totally with you on the going out thing. You do feel so much better if you get out & about but sometimes (due to s/e and bugs etc) it‘s just not possible is it?? Have you been to B&Q yet?? DH survived?? We‘re suit buying today for Hubster and youngest (6’5” at 15!!!) and it could well get very messy indeed; they both hate shopping!! I’ve stipulated my requirements - coffee stops and girl shops - hubster non-commital!! On the s/e front....got up yesterday feeling much much better except for intense tiredness and a few niggles. Hope you manage to get out today.
- Hope your “moist” eyes are ok now and you’re feeling a bit sunnier. Think of all the galloping you’ll be doing in the next couple if weeks before you’re chemoed!! You will get through this Lindsay, it’s just a brief pause for a saddle change and you’ll be off again. Take care.
So, now I’ve bored everyone, I’m off to make breakfast for my boys (49 & 15 - big age gap - lol!!!) Have a good day and be as kind to yourselves as you would be to your best friend xxx
Bigguy, seems our big boys and teen boys are the same age, good luck with the shopping trip, fully sympathise, i hate clothes shopping at best of time, can you believe i spent about 4 hours yesterday depressing myself trying to find a suitable pocketed sports bra.
Either I'm fussy and know exactly what i want and it doesn't exist, or they only really produce sports bras for post surgery comfort, nowt wrong with that, and not for women under 40 who play sport competitively and have had breast surgery ie mastectomy with no recon. Not to mention the cost of them on the odd one that was vaguely suitable. Think I'm going to have to get creative and start buying normal ones and sewing pockets in them.
I eventually found one i hope will do, but believe it or not it is designed for martial arts, boxing and is a normal sports bra but has pockets to put plastic protector cups in for protection from getting thumped. Lol. But at £25 compared to £40-50 I'm hoping I'm on to a winner.
Do hope the pineapple helps you all with funny taste buds, i love pineapple, i know my work colleague said her mouth and taste was like she had putty in her mouth constantly, shame i didn't know about the pineapple from you lot before her chemo finished.
