AWAKE.........

Gosh so many updates, I have been spending time online Christmas shopping for kids presents and stocking fillers and then I am sick of looking at my screen and so haven’t been posting or reading as much sorry. 

I agree on the aging parents and teenagers it’s very busy and really hard to support aging parents. All 3 of our parents and my mums husband are ill at the moment. My mum and her husband are fiercely independent and often we don’t really know what’s going on as they don’t want us worrying. But they moved to a bungalow some time ago and that’s been a huge relief as it’s much more manageable. 

but my husbands parents are much less independent and he’s an only child which has been really tough on him. Before my diagnosis his dad was being very demanding and wanting only hubby to take him to the hospital etc but hubby is self employed and so he needs to take work when it comes in. His dad has relaxed a bit now and allowed his sister to take him to his last appointment. It’s tough on kids too as I know I can’t be as present to support my eldest through her mock gces next week so I’ve been doing everything I can this week on her first week of them. She’s fine not revising as much as she could but I think she will get through.

right off to make kids school lunches then I’m going to nip in the shower then off for next chemo. Think it’s a slightly reduced time today as no observations needed on 2nd doses. 9:30 -4:30 does anyone else have such a long treatment? I have 2 targeted therapies then 2 different chemo treatments. I have HER2+ cancer so maybe that’s the reason. 

Hoping I won’t feel quite as bad on this round and fingers crossed for no infections. 

sending love and hugs to all x

Goodness me, this thread has been busy overnight….

 Ninsim , thinking about you and hoping all goes ahead. 

 LondonLass , just sending lots of love,

 Mumofthree , hope this round is loads easier on you

 Grogg , I’m with you on this cold, mine is over a week now and only just feeling a touch improved, the cough is miserable.

 WhatHappened , always great to read your posts, I’ve thought so often about having a dog, but being away at the museum for long hours although only a couple of times a week, would make it unfair I feel. I did see an ad on ‘face ache’ for a robot puppy, though….I guess it was only a matter of time before they got into the act!

all other Fruit Loops, just cos i haven’t mentioned you, I am still thinking of you and wanting the best! 

Hugs xxx

Your parent/inlaws situation plus child on gcse mock exams is similar to mine. Gosh its a lot - being strong for you, children, husband, parents- im just at the beginning of this.

X

LondonLass  so sorry to hear that you have some mets. After so lo  g being stable Mabel too! Sending big hugs xxx

Just returned from a short break on a hotel very near to the church where the concert was to be held. I opted out a few weeks ago because the conductor was pressurising everyone and ranting at reheaals. No need to put up with any xs unnecessary stress! Husband sang in the concert, and the church had no heating I would not have been able to deal with that! Instead I went to see and old friend whom I have not seen since before lockdown, as she is a carer and cannot leave her husband at all. I was shocked at the state of both of them. He has advanced Parkinson’s and is just a shell of a man. She looks after him devotedly, but has developed severe muscle weakness and can barely stand, never mind walk. They have the crisis team in at present. Docs are hoping that the cause of her weakness is hypothyroidism and that on treatment she will,improve. I hope it is not some awful neurological thing.

We enjoyed the hotel break. 

I had a very early appt this morning for my Botox. Such a relief to have it before we go away for. Christmas to my son’s in N Yorkshire. Phone call this morning from my eldest granddaughter, to say she has got engaged, lovely news!

Love to all fruitloops, especially LondonLass and others at the start of treatment. With being away had too much to catch up on! xx

Hope you got your operation today Ninsim and that everything went ok.

Best wishes

Daisy53

What lovely news you've had.

Sensible to not sit in the cold church. I froze in 2 last year - I'd said after that I'm taking a hot water bottle and blanket and double socks every time from then onwards....and thermal leggings and top!

A break away is good and I think your friend will be so grateful for your visit. Caring for a loved one is also a lonely road x

So glad you decided to ‘play safe’ and not get chilled, seaspirit44  And what lovely news about an engagement! Glad you’ve had the Botox done ready for Christmas. Sorry to hear about your friend and her husband, caring is tough. 

Hugs xxx

Evening.....Mumofthree .....hope today's chemo went well without problem.  Now have plenty of rest for a day or two if you can and hopefully the reactions will be easier than last month. Thinking of you.

 Ninsim .....as I haven't noticed a post saying you got cancelled....I'm hoping you have had that mastectomy today and that you are starting your recovery. I know it will be uncomfortable for a few days but things should improve after that and the tumours should be gone. Take care.

 Grogg and moomy  sorry about this persistent cold. Hope it clears up soon.

 seaspirit44 .....I am pleased you got the botox done. You can relax now and enjoy time with your family feeling more comfortable.

I read the ' caring for parents' discussion. It is really difficult to know when to insist independence becomes care. My sister insisted my parents went to hers but my mother never adjusted. When she asked to live with us after Dad's funeral she seemed to relax. My sister had sold their house with Dad's consent but never took my mother back there and then with Dad's  agreement spent a lot of money on their home . Dad was generous and easily persuaded the improvements would make things nicer for him and mum. But he didn't live to benefit and mum didn't want to stay. I think she might have been difficult for my sister because she didn't want to be there but for me she has been really easy. She helps me where she can. I give her little jobs and it does save me. She needs some help and a wheel chair for distances but walks around our house, dresses herself and every night says ' thank you.' I think I am lucky. My mother-in-law was the opposite. The four years we helped her she complained, she lied, and accused my husband and me of neglect and abuse. It was very hard but sad too. She wasn't liked. Everyone loves my mum and are really kind to her.

Is there an answer to the dilemma of getting old oneself or caring for the elderly ? I haven't found it yet. I sometimes think fear of being on their own makes older people awkward.  They feel they need problems in order to have attention. I tried to tell that to my mother-in-law that I would visit every day whether she hsd difficulties or not but it didn't make a difference. She could still be very nasty. 

Anyway enough of that. I am going for my mammogram tomorrow. I am sure it's fine but my breast is very lumpy today! So I am going to watch Downton Abbey to relax.....love to all. Thinking of everyone who has posted .

Hope that mammo goes well tomorrow, Lacomtekp as I bet  those lumps will have formed as a result of the date? 

Im so glad you and your Mum have reached what seems the very best for you both, in the photos you’ve sent she looks so happy. 

Hugs xxx