AWAKE.........

Night everyone 

maegaret x

I would put in a complaint .  Shocking treatment!
Northerner good luck tomorrow xx

LondonLass did I miss your decision re your friend?  I think you deserve to meet up with her.  This risk is with us for a very long time and we have to carry on living with quality of life.  
Im in Wales do we still restricted but I can go further than 5 miles now !  I'm not totally sure if our rules now in Wales as rarely watch news anymore !  

I have been busy Mother of Bride shopping!  I'm not normally one to struggle standing up for myself but 4 shops down , forced into outfits I've said am absolute no to!  My daughter came back to one  shop with me for second opinion and they had out a second dress that I had rejected earlier in day .  My daughter very firmly said 'she's not trying that ' !!!  They listened to her!  They tell me I look amazing in any crap !!!  My hubby videos in shop I look at it and reject!   He sends to daughter who tells him to tell me to get out if that horrid dress!  I can laugh now but I was very stressed by Friday !!! 

Finally listed hubby's motorbike stuff on EBay - well 3 of his 6 helmets, custom bike seat and few other gadgets .  He's been inundated with offers and had bids on everything !  This means I'll have to lost the rest of his bike stuff as he should get a few thousand for everything!    My clothes selling more slowly !!!

Today I taught my future son in law to iron a shirt /t-shirt & jeans.  He's never ironed in his life and is currently living with us due to lockdown.   His mother offered last week to wash and iron his work clothes as he's back in office 1/2 the week as it's too much for me!  My daughter told him it's embarrassing having his mother do his laundry so she'd show him how to use iron as she had no intention of being his laundry women !  He loved it - says it appeals to his orderly nature !!    

Night night fruit loops 

ooh missed someone who is seeing her 3 sons- enjoy xxx

Had chemo Thursday, without a review first as it got “ cancelled “ 

felt fine after 

felt really well Saturday and Sunday 

did lots of pottering in the garden, tidying away piles of pots , getting rid of dead plants , made a list for someone who was coming to help Monday .

wasnt sleeping well Sunday night , ascites pressing on ribs ( apparently the oncologist has decided not to put in a permanent drain , as it is not “ worth “ it I.e. , my comfort !

0400 I suddenly felt sick , I am never sick ......long story short I had a gastric bleed and they estimate I vomited about 4 litres ! Cue ambulance with sirens !!

well, as the oncologist said 3 weeks ago ( the last time any one Saw me ) any admission for any reason would automatically mean stopping all treatment.......

having scope today , dreading it .......and not sure if it is worth it if they then stop treatment and “ allow me to deteriorate “ ....scared .....gastro team have been great, no oncologiy staff here at weekends......

as soon as I got to A and E I felt well , back to “ normal “ ( when was I ever ! )

still thinking about PALS 

HOPE you all had good weekend and kept away from your hospitals ...me. X

Good morning all....

Early start. Off to neurology....... The Peripheral Neuropathy doesn't disappear with the years. But I shan't need LP today as I can see he's busy and with no change, I suspect just a prescription renewal and a few questions. Tests have already shown us the permanent damage.

Grogg.....it's me with the son dilemma and no wonder you forgot with all the excitement of wedding outfits. I have watched other friends searching in Mother of the Bride shops and ending up spending a fortune on the very ordinary. Why don't you just go to your favourite high street shops or even online. If you feel comfortable, you will look gorgeous.....and you can always dress something up with the accessories. My' men' have all remained single. Odd partners from time to time....but they enjoy sporty and somewhat nomadic lifestyles. I would have loved to be a grandma.  I think I might have been a nice one.....but I think it's getting too late now! Good luck with the continuing search. I remember for my own wedding my mum was scared of hats. She has a smallish head. My gran had a navy hat which suited my mum. We trailed Oxford Street for an outfit to match the hat.....nothing. Then one day we were in St Albans for a Guiding event. There, in a small boutique, was the perfect ' mum' shape dress and bolero jacket in aqua marine. With navy it was perfect too. Bag, shoes next trip and my mum has always shone out of my wedding photos. She's almost 94 now. I must get the photos out next time she visits to remind her.....

Northerner....hope the mammogram goes well. A year already......

Do you get your results quickly? As you know I take mine home with me.....I think once Covid is sorted....I am going to campaign for that in the UK. If one country can do it.....so can any. 

LondonLass....I think you should meet your friend. If she is a nurse, she won't put you into any danger. I shall meet my boys if I think it is safe to travel with them otherwise it will have be 2:1!

Now I must go . Love to all. Hope the tests and treatments go well. I noticed some radiotherapy starters today.....lots of creaming after but clean skin for the treatment...,...

Take care. Stay safe. 

Love Karen

......thinking of you. I hope you get someone sympathetic later on. What a nuisance to get another problem just as you were coping with the chemo. Presumably if they put in the drain.....you wouldn't have had last night's difficulties. I think you need to bring this to the attention of the PALS. Surely you have a right to choose treatment just as people have a right to choose to stop?

Much love Karen

Morning all, 

just popped on to wish Northerner all the best for her mammogram today. LP is on his way already as he was just so excited! 

Really hope it’s quick and easy Hun and that the results follow quickly! Xxx

Then he realised that wasn’t doing so well. So he’s going to pop in to visit her too and hold her hand!

Sorry to hear you have had yet more drama Hun! It must of been very frightening. I hope the tests are done quickly and they bring some positive news. Don’t let the Onco use this as an easy excuse to withdraw the Chemo! See what the gastro team have to say! If you feel you are being unfairly treated then definitely speak to PAL’s! 
Sending you a massive (((((((HUG)))))) Thinking of you Hun. Xxxxx

Lacomtekp LP wanted to say good luck with your appointment. He will be thinking of you as will I and we hope your appointment goes well. But he’s asked if you could give him more notice next time, as he does love a trip to France! Xxx

Grogg, I think I have decided to invite her around to the garden for coffee! Sadly, going out in the car with her just seems too risky for me right now! I think I have to do baby steps!! I know that probably sounds silly, but it’s just how I feel right now! I am hoping in time I will feel more and more relaxed! 
Hope you find the perfect dress/outfit soon! But remember it’s YOU that has to wear it all day and although it’s important that your daughter likes it, the final decision has to be based in you feeling comfortable in it! I mean physically and emotionally! Because if you don’t feel comfortable it will show on your face in every photo! Xxxx

Wishing EVERYONE a very Happy Monday! Hope you all have a good week! Sal xxxxx

Lacomtekp hope all goes well with your app today . Yes it would be good to get results same day but last year it was three weeks for initial call back from routine mammogram then two weeks from assessment mammogram etc after that thinks moved quickly and op followed in eight days . 

Only thing I will mention today is Calcification I want to be told even if it is what they call non suspicious . 

LondonLass glad you have made your decision to meet friend ..in the garden is good and a step in the right direction Grogg is right it's here for a long time and we need to learn to live along side it . You haven't hidden from cancer so don't hide yourself away from Covid put your comfort rules in place and take a step at a time.

Grogg years ago for daughters wedding we trailed everywhere for "mother of the bride" outfit before realising I not that person I then bought a jkt from Next and skirt /top from Bhs where I worked . I was comfortable . The difficulty I had in beginning was toning in with rest of Bridal party .. This was way back in 1993 daughter chose to get married in old gold colour dress very traditional for 18th century lol 

Go to your favourite shops and be comfortable in what you have chosen .

Have to go get ready now Sister coming for SD in garden then have to meet LP 

margaret x

Dont give up the fight this excuse for a medical man needs telling where to get off !

As you're in the hospital anyway get in touch with Pals and ask to see someone while you are there .

Take care keep fighting 

Margaret x

Hi Everyone,

Such a lot happening with you all today. I hope that those of you who have appointments find that they all go well and are on time. sending very gentle hugs to you -sorry you are in hotel nhs again but from what you say the gastro team are doing all they can for you. As others have advised please contact the PALs if nothing else they will advocate on your behalf while you are in hospital.

Grogg I know your dilemma- mother of the bride outfits often cost the earth and are not comfortable to wear always. As has been suggested try your favourite shops on the high street and perhaps fail to mention that the outfit is for " this special occasion", that way you will have a greater choice. I would choose colours and styles that suit you and add accessories to match or contrast accordingly.A piece of jewelry can lift your outfit to something special . Good luck in your search.

LondonLass Glad you have come to a decision that makes you comfortable- small steps at a time will do that. Enjoy your visit to the full and fingers crossed you should get nice weather for it.

Best wishes and hugs to all

LondonLass baby steps are fine and garden visits perfect !  I've had a few garden visits and I've just given them a fresh hand towel if they need loo for everyone's peace of mind.  

Ive ordered a dress online Jacques Vert , two John Lewis ones gone back ! I'm not a typical size and grateful as I am for still having my G cups they mean I struggle with dresses if no stretch in them!