AWAKE.........

A fruitloop quiz to cheer us up.

Where in the world am I today? 

Looks like Blackpool 

Sorry Snowys Mum and all the Fruit Loops. I didn't mean to lower the mood. Just wanted a safe place to blurt out how I'm feeling! Apologies if I upset anyone and thanks for all the hugs! Don't suppose any of you fancy moving to Exeter and getting a job in the Breast Unit?!!

Anyway enough of my moaning and self pity. I agree with ........

Hope you are having a nice time xxxxxx

LondonLass no apologies needed flower, we are always here for you. I wish you were here I would buy you a bag of chips an icecream and a kiss me quick hat. And we could go in the ballroom and have a dance together xxxx

Blackpool ....fish and chips ..candy floss ..rock  ..silly hat no other place like it 

Hmmmm 

Exeter is just a bit far, but if we could all ‘beam up’ a la Star Trek I’m sure lots of us would love to convert the hugs on here to real mahoosive ones, LondonLass!

Blackpool, ‘that’s noted for fresh air and fun’

hugs xxx

Sal I'd happily drive to exeter and have lunch with you. Wouldn't mind betting I could persuade grannylara to come too

Owww Snowys Mum - I am thinking you are in errrrr Par... errr no, hmmm, I know.... Blackpool!!! 

Well Done you on getting out and about.  I've said to OH we need to have a day out to Blackpool.... still waiting, although I believe the lights are due to be switched on at some point towards the end of August.... must keep this in mind.

Now then, I'm in a right predicament - if I tell this story has it would be it goes like this....

Baxter, the stray cat that really I have taken on, well he came back today with very nasty scratches to his head and eye.  I contacted vets saying I have him here is it possible to have eye looked and and have him neutered.  They say bring him up and we can see, due to eye problem we might want this to clear up before we can neuter. (This all happened the same a few months back, hence no neutering happened - its like a circle).  Anyway, took him to Vets they gave him a long lasting antibiotic and said to take in in the morning for neutering...... yahhhhhyyyyy .....

I then mentioned the wound he had on his back leg, I was able to look and could see it hadn't healed very well.... unless it has opened again!  With this vet said they wanted to do a 'snap' test for feline aids.  I said okay, whilst test was going on talked about bits and bobs and then she said casually 'he has tested positive for it' - you need to have him put to sleep!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am floored, please don't judge me.... I can't decide this, it is against everything I stand for, I am trying so hard not to cry and she says 'she has to do this all the time, it is the best thing I can do for the cat, saying he is in pain and this needs to be done.....

I have not cried for since I don't know when, I've had a 'little cry' but the proper cry - I've not done because I know or feel if I do, if I start I won't stop - so I have tried every way to stop myself.  Well this news got me when I was not expect it.

I asked, could I have Baxter neutered, get him better with his wounds and 'carry on with life' until ..... she said I would be cruel putting him through the operation for him to have to be put to sleep at another time.  I suggested could Baxter be neutered, given medication to get eyes/head better, he won't want to wonder off due to been neutered, he loves been in the conservatory - when not calling out for female cats, could I do this and keep him.  Again I was told this would be cruel and he might not even survive the anaesthetic, also saying he is use to been out roaming around and would want to do this (I do think if he was neutered so he doesn't have the 'urge' I think he would love to be inside all the time).

My goodness, I didn't know what to do, Baxter was behaving and looking at me with so much trust in his eyes... how could I betray him but it is better for him (I can't relate to this as I only see his problem at the moment has the sores and any pain from the scratches on his head and near his eye).  

I called OH in, he was waiting in the car - bless him, he came in and so 'I understand why you have been so long now' - I explained it all and he said, you have to be guided by the vet, adding it's not fair for him if he is suffering.  I was 99% going to go with it, I was crying and thinking I can't bring him back for this to be done.... and then OH said take him home 'do what you do, think of all the for's and against' and speak with them tomorrow. I asked about antibiotics for his eye... Vet said it is long lasting so will be okay for a few days.

We get home and realised no pain relief was suggested for him... the scratches must be painful.   I then have a had a quick 'google' - I know, I know, plus my mind isn't in the right place and I can't see from crying - but, it does look like cats can live with this condition and this is the one, it is recommended that if 'snap' test is positive, then it is recommended that a different type of blood test be carried out as there can be false positives (Im not saying that this is the case, but, its an avenue I need to look at, because I could not live with myself if I have not given Baxter 'every' chance and i certainly don't want Karma coming after me!!

Please don't judge me - I just needed to get this off my chest and as they say a problem shared etc - so Fruit Loops this is my share for today.  Totally never expected this, totally gutted and not knowing if I am doing right for doing wrong.

Group Hug please xxxx

Owww and if I had never mentioned Baxter's leg, then all would of gone ahead tomorrow and not of us would be any the wiser - instead now, if they say they would do the neutering - I don't think I could trust them not to let him go under anaesthetic - what a palaver.

Sending love to all from red eyes and nose xxxxx

Felt l had to reply. I have had many much loved cats, that l lived with us for many years - all rescued or strays. I know only too well the shock visit to the vet, where a sneeze, slight cough or sore is diagnosed as a terminal illness. Twice l thought “ can’t do it” and took my cats home thinking l would give them the best end to their life. On both occasions it didn’t go well and l realised that l had not been kind, and that trusting look had been misread by me. The third time l cried buckets all over the vet and agreed that they knew best. 

You are giving yourself a chance to think it over and that is good. 

By the way, neutering a stray that has had freedom does not stop them fighting. My last cat Larry, fought every cat in the neighbourhood until l would find him exhausted. He always came off worst. Very expensive!

Best Wishes. You will make the right decision for Baxter.

Good Luck.

Oh WhatHappened

So sorry for you having to make this decision to make is it possible to be referred to vet hospital in your area or at least another vet for second opinion . 

We had to make this sort of decision for one of our dogs and it is so hard .

Trust yourself to make the right decision for Baxter knowing that any route you decide to take will be decided on thru your love for him .

(((( hugs ))))