AWAKE.........

Jo, they can reduce the chemo by up to 25% without affecting the effectiveness too much. I had 4 cycles of T at 75% rather than 3 at 100%. EC was accelerated though - 2 weekly cycles!! I also had 1 of the T delayed due to low bloods. So don't worry too much about the reduction, and do have a good moan to your team to try and get the top end meds for side effects!!

Sal I hope you get more effective meds too!! Don't overdo things!! We tend to do too much when feeling ok, and then pay for it the next couple of days.

I moved back into the spare room last night. After 3 weeks of very disturbed sleep I was completely zonked. My fitbit trace for last night shows I barely moved a muscle for 11 hours. So now I feel a bit of a fraud posting on here!!

Only one more call - the grandkids pushed the panic button...................... police called etc etc. She was so embarrassed.

Just wanted to pop in and say goodnight all.

I am struggling a bit with readjusting back to my life. I have to remember I can't do as much as I could. But I think that everyone just expects me to be back at full health and I am not. But they think I am!!! I get so tired and can't do as much - but people don't realise this.

Getting a bit frustrated. :( Don't want to appear pathetic though....

Gay xxx

Not pathetic at all Gay. And it is frustrating in the extreme!! We look ok so we must be ok.

Will a hug help?

xx

Exactly Karen,

You hit the nail on the head, looks ok so must be ok! Nooo I am worn out! It is all a new balancing act that needs practice. 

Hugs very welcome. Cwtches back!

Gay xxx

Hi Gay, totally understand how you feel and how hard it is. I still don't feel comfortable admitting how hard I find some things and how much I am struggling! Although if I pretend all is well and I push myself to keep up with others, then yes the people around me will assume all is well. Because let's face it the last thing they want to have to deal with is a 'sick' person! Even if the person is just getting over Cancer treatment! However if we all continue to play the martyr and keep smiling and saying all is fine, then we aren't really helping anyone!

So my new promise to myself is to be honest! When some one asks how I am, I answer honestly.....not in full detail, but enough for them to realise that going through all this is no picnic in the park!

If you feel being back full time is too much, then get in touch with your boss and discuss things with them. Could you reduce your hours/days off a bit, just while your body readjusts!

Anyway thats enough babble from me, now I must leave you with a great big.......

HUG just for you! 

Its very early days Hun! don't push yourself too hard! It really isn't worth it! Xxx

Rabbits, Rabbits, Rabbits :-)  Night Night everyone xxxx

Should have guessed last night was setting me up for a sleepless one tonight......

Even the cat is snoring.....

Off to get a cuppa

Oh bless you Karen.....you know why you had a bad night don't you??

It's because you were worried about losing your AWAKE club membership!!  Let me reassure you that whether you sleep right through (who am I kidding) or wake 2 or 3 times! You will still be welcome! 

So tonight why don't you try for another 11hr stretch.....that's the type of night I can only dream about! (((((((((((((BIG HUGS)))))))))) xxxx

Hi Gay, i was just wondering about the whole work thing.... im still off post op. I assumed id be back in after a few weeks - but it will be 2 weeks this tuesday and i cant see me back just yet. Im so sore and tired! I have a job that requires planning and energy just like yours (im a project manager not a teacher - but both mean you cant just coast through the day) and so i really need to be good before i go in so that I dont set myself up to fail and here lays the probelm doesnt it - because you just slot back into roles and your colleagues have an expectation - a standard you have set that they are used to and not meeting that standard is a worry... and managing expectations is difficult - because the last thing you want to say out loud at work is..   "I cant do that anymore! I will struggle with that! Or i'm sorry but i cant meet that target/ deliver that product" etc ..... urrggh this is crap!!

I know we are all different - but what did you do workwise through treatment? Anyone else? Im just not sure what to suggest or how to pitch it? My employers are ace and just want me better - but how long does that last?! And am i happy to hand over my work (no!) 

Hi Jo, I was the same after my first chemo session and myOnc reduced my dose by 20% I asked if it would still be as effective and he told me that they always start dosage high so that there is room to tweak it, so don't worry to much x