AWAKE.........

Unknown said:

i don't get much sleep but I can put my feet up in the afternoon whereas you keep going on hardly any sleep!Superwoman

Xxxxxxxxxx

Hi toxophilite, hoping you have finished work for the day and are now ready to enjoy your long weekend!! I have found a friend for you..............saw it and thought of you. Wishing you a lovely weekend, hope it's a good one xxxxxx

SAY HI TO YOUR NEW BUDDY.............

Hehe, thanks LondonLass , he's cute!! Although this looks meaner, and sometimes wish I had a certain colleague in my sights :

Here's one for you :

Trust you got some rest today. Here's to a reasonably calm night!!

Glad you liked it. Think we all know someone who we'd like to aim an arrow at, although I'd probably miss, bounce off something else and shoot myself......knowing my luck!!

I had a nice meal out and then a quiet afternoon. Hot flushes and Pain have been horrible today, so feeling a bit fed up! But hoping tonight might be a better night! ..... BUT.......

NIGHT NIGHT ALL xxxxxxxx

Pity water doesn't flow uphill. I think I need to pour myself upstairs....

Hope you made it up to bed...........this heat is no fun!!

Night Hun, hope I don't hear from you again until the morning.......meant in the nicest possible way! Fingers crossed for a good nights sleep! Sweet Dreams xxx

Hope you're getting some sleep LondonLass 

Just came across this article about tai chi. Thought you might be interested. I did tai chi years ago and I think I might look into taking it up again.

Apart from anything else, I didn't know that 30% of us who have/had BC suffer from insomnia. Given this high figure, why are we so often given the brush off, told it will pass or handed sleeping tablets. This is clearly an area for more research. 

Restless again. I have people over supper tomorrow because my stupid brain dexided that I should start pretending to live a normal life. Now I regret this stupid decision. These people didn't come to my mom's funeral so I don't understand why I'm going out of my way to be nice to them. 

Had a row with hubbie and now I feel that bith of us are trapped in this horrible situation. I won't ever be normal hence it is high time that I take decisions accordingly. Don't want to make anyone pay for my illness. No way out. Or maybe there is a way out. 

Hi Baki, I'd say good morning, but let's be honest it's not really morning yet and doesn't sound like its good for you, at the moment! 

You're allowed to 'try' and be normal! Although what is this 'normal' that we all strive for? Why do we all push ourselves to do more than we are capable of? Why do we give ourselves such a hard time?

Sounds to me like you need a gentle reminder that your hubbie loves you very much and wants what's best for you. I'm sure whatever you both said was in the heat of the moment and later on you will both hug and make up! You may feel sometimes that YOU are trapping him in this situation! But the reality is Cancer is trapping you both, and you are both making the best you can out of the situation. You didn't choose to have Cancer, but you have chosen to accept all the treatment you can, so that you can spend as much time as possible with your family and friends who love you! None of them blame you for getting Cancer and I'm sure they all wished you hadn't. But I'm also sure that every day they spend with you is a day they are grateful for!

Time to stop giving yourself a hard time and start seeing the bigger picture, you are still here and you are making memories that will last forever. There will be the odd 'bad' day, with arguments and upset, but then that's 'normal' so you see you are living the 'normal' life you were striving for!! 

That just leaves me one thing to do, which is offer you a ((((((((((((((supportive hug))))))))))))

and to ask just one question??

Maybe it's because I knew one of my Special Friends needed me! Or maybe it's just because I'm always awake!!

Hope you manage to get a bit more sleep Hun, or you'll be falling asleep at supper tomorrow! Xxxxxxxx

Hi Baki,

I can so relate to you chat, I have been and had the same battle so many times before, for such a long time I have wanted whati classed as a normal life, kept telling myself that cancer would not rule it but in actual fact by doing that it did 

Your husband I am sure is only trying to do what he thinks is right and what you want and maybe has snored all night making you think he's not bothered when he really is, that's just men for you , different way of dealing with things

It has took me year to eventually accept that my life is in a different path and to accept that it has changed direction into a downhill path that I can no longer control, to realise that I should face this head on, I wake every day with a smile and a skip in my step, love every moment I have with my children and build as many happy memories for my children, family and friends 

When this happens to you you see life differently and find out who is true to you 

If you don't feel up to the dinner cancel it they should understand , they could still come for a cuppa and a chat or even bring the food to you, if they don't then just forget about it and pass by

I've learnt now to listen to my body and use all aids that I need to make my life as easy as possible for me so I can enjoy the things I want to do, so if this means me being pushed in a wheelchair to have a shopping day with my children or a walk in the park so be it, I've worked hard all my life give up the career I loved so it's maybe just time for us to give a little something back to ourselves

I'm sure everything will be sorted today with your husband go and do something nice in the sun and let them pamper you a bit for a change

I hope this helps you a little , you are a very special lady who deserves the best to you and remember it's ok to cancel something if you don't feel up to it they should understand and if they don't their not worth your energy 

Hopefully you will of got some sleep 

Lisa xx