AWAKE.........

So sorry Snowys Mum, so very upsetting, especially as you have been made the scapegoat. I think our nearest and dearest always take it out on us when feeling low/anxious/tired. Big hugs xxxxx

Violetsniff, how horrible. You did so well. That selfish man needs a kick up the a***e!! X

, you are so resourceful and philosophical. Xx

xxx

Hi ..thankyou...I have had many years to learn how to deal with surprising people!!Most of it is self-defensive as I have learnt if you challenge people outright they tend to pour out all their bile on your head....and they are usually bigger ,and males....(which makes their actions cowardly in my eyes...)I just quietly leave.

I am so sorry that all this happened to you @SnowysMum....I do hope your daughter thinks about her actions and has a change of thoughts .Sometimes that happens.xxxI have a feeling that may take some time though.....I’m afraid....xx

...I agree with your thoughtful prayers of your Minister.xxxthankyou xxx

Okay it's been 5 long hours since I came to bed and guess what? I'm clearly NOT asleep!! However I struggled to stay awake for most of the evening! Sooooooo frustrating!

This was meant to be a nice long and much needed, relaxing break from work! A chance to unwind. Instead after my unwanted news on Wednesday I have been going through all sorts of emotions! My head really is all over the place!

My confidence has hit an all time low, as has my mood! I keep being told there is plenty of time to organise something else. The end of April is months away BUT right now I don't think I want to be there until April! I love the little one, but going back and carrying on as if nothing has happened, is going to be Very tricky! Why do I want to work hard for a family who are dumping me because I can't work full time? It's not like I am saying no because I can't be bothered or I'm being awkward!! It's because I CAN'T I wish I could, oh how much I wish I could!  

So do I leave earlier without a new job in place? Do I sign off sick, let's face it if I carry on like this I will make myself sick (sicker)!! Do I just go back and grin and bear it and continue to do the best I can until the end of April? 

I JUST DON'T KNOW! It's going round and round in my head and is ruining my Christmas break!

Yes I know it's ME whose allowing this to get to me, ME that's letting it ruin my break, ME that needs to stop being so silly!

All I can say is I AM TRYING, REALLY TRYING! But I'm EXHAUSTED! PHYSICALLY AND MENTALLY EXHAUSTED! 

PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE SLEEP FAIRIES, LET ME SLEEP! Xxx

Hello, 

im the same I think mind goes into overdrive when you go to bed and you overthink everything. Time to organise soemthig else? What do you mean?

I work in mental health. When I was diagnosed I decided that I could not work and was advised to take time off to focus on myself and my recovery. Maybe you should do the same. When I were first diagnosed I couldn’t sleep at all! It hit me in waves! 

I have finished my chemo and now awaiting surgery and radiotherapy. I am 26 years old. There’s soooo much support for people in our situation. Please don’t suffer alone. 

Hi , thanks for the wise words! It's a complicated situation, as I have secondary Breast Cancer! So it's finding a new job that will fit in with that! As well as fit in with my low energy levels, sore joints, hot flushes etc etc

Sorry should say lots of people tolerate the treatment okay, so don't panic. Sounds like you are doing amazingly well. Sorry to hear you were diagnosed so young! But we are always here if you need go off load at any point! There's normally someone awake!!

Anyway I really should try and sleep. Night night Hun xxx

Could you not have a bit of time off sick and then go from there and see how you feel with work? 

Thank you very much for your kind words. 

Hooe you manage to get some sleep. Sweet dreams xx

Hi everyone,  got heartburn so wide awake now

seaspirit44 Christmas Day was fine thanks.  DN called at 12:30 pm and gave anticoagulant injection in Tum.

Still getting over cold so just had fruit and yoghurt as lost taste. 

Opened Pia’s present from a friend in  Canada a new mouse toy!  

very Happy Pia showing toy who’s boss!