AWAKE.........

Xxx

Oh , what a trial, you have the patience of a saint! 

My DH is lovely and caring but gets worn down with my problems. He is only human . 

Good luck with Christmas ! Xxxx

Good afternoon.

Thanks for your support and WhatHappened and seaspirit44 I need to explain a little.

I will try to be brief as my head is still horrid. I moved into my man's flat when he moved away. He was always coming back but his body is wrecked so he needed a place without stairs. He used to work in the Outdoors, years ago, canooing etc and damaged his back falling off a mountain, whiplash of spine from safety rope. 

So he now lives in a cottage and its HIS place. I declared my place ( his old one) no smoking but stupidly in reality I am always at his.

Smoking...he knows the risks and given other substances he has used in the past would consider this quite innocent. He will say the substance is for pain relief etc but a lot of it is pleasure, addiction, ritual and social...he has a pal that also indulges.

Just for good measure, someone he adores has moved back up here in the last few weeks and she and her pal/housemate are big smokers so not helping the stinky house situ when they are around. He is helping to get their place into shape so lots of time there and them here. I knew he was there yesterday by the way.

I really must look at the definition of brief : )

Oh yeah...I am not a masochist as he has some good points...just abit hard to reel them off right now  ooh look an actual emoji that I can't usually get! This morning he acted like nothing amiss! Yeah right.

He is off to a local live punk gig soon... No! I won't be going !

Right enough of that

Trying to get festive!

Take care

U..Thanks for the pic....lovely!

....I am very far from being an expert in this area...but maybe you could maybe try and find a few new friends...then you won’t have to be round his place such a lot,and under his terms.There is a lot to be said for retreating from a person to stop them from taking you for granted...take it from my older sister...it has helped me a lot this year,and is a little bit of magic xx

i do just need to add,I don’t know you,or your specific circumstances,so I can only say what worked for me.Also,am not saying you are taken for granted....just what worked for me in a similar sitz xxxx

Hello fruitloops, thank you so much for all your support, I know our other half's are going through it as well, and we can't be that easy to live with either.  I think, as much he has been there for me till I now, for the time being I think I will keep him out as much as I can from my cancer journey,  Much easier if I handle it on my own, I just can't take all his aggravation.  He's gone off to bed in record time at 7:30pm, I don't think he can face the music.  I wonder though if he can't handle things now when they are 'good[, how is he going to manage with the children if it goes to pot?  So glad am at work tomorrow, a bit of light relief.  

Sorry you sre still going through this . He is obviously not coping, but vrry difficult to resolve if he won’t talk. You must feel so hurt. Could you access some counselling gir yourself?

Please keep posting on here.

Big hugs xx 

Awwe  you have helped me to get a grip. 

I always say problems and angst are not a competition and people's issues are not ranked...whatever the source, it doesn't equate to how the person feels able to cope at any given point....that said, you obviously have more factors than me contributing to your 'difficult' partner situation.

I have read your profile but don't know how old you, your partner, or children are. 

As has been said, please...leave your hub to his own devices for a while if you must, but don't brutalise yourself by not seeking support elsewhere. 

Actually ...grab as much support as you can in lots of varieties as sometimes a ' bit of this' is better than 'a lot of that'.

You are still working? What size employer? Are you in a Trade Union? You got any hobby groups? Just a few threads of support I am thinking of.

Of course you think about your children and 'what if' and although hub may need some space right now, he is modelling coping strategies for your kids... even if they are not aware of it at present.

Gentle hugs

Violetsniff awe you me made smile.

Thank you for your advice. Actually I need a kick up the butt to sort out why I currently don't like spending time in my own place. I am not really at my man's because I lack alternative company or activities but I fully endorse your thinking in that a person needs lots of people in their circle. This is to help  prevent us being overly smothered,  under nurtured,  pigeon holed or merely the receiver of bad from a taker of good.

OK stopping now.

Take care

It's that time of the week again.......

But  maybe just maybe it won't be too bad! Maybe it will be a good day! We can but hope!

Hoping everyone had a good weekend and that the Chemo ladies managed to keep clear of Hotel BHS!

My weekend was okay, I've had better. Seem to be stuck in a rut at the moment. Feeling a bit low. Not sure if it's just the emotions from the 'joys of living with secondaries' or low mood from my thyroid playing up? Or maybe a bit of both. Whichever it is I hope it passes soon because it's not very nice!

I'm trying so hard to get into the Christmas spirit and to enjoy it. However its really hard when you just don't have the energy for any of it! The thought of dragging myself out of bed this morning fills me with dread! I know I I only have 3 days to work then in theory it's my relaxing weekend again....but with appointments on both Thursday and Friday this week it's not going to be the most relaxing of weeks!

I know things could be worse and I have so much to be grateful for! But sometimes I just, oh I don't know............I just want a Day off from Cancer! Does that make sense?

Anyway enough about me. How's everyone else doing? Wishing you all a good week. I hope those with appointments do okay! LP is here and ready to go if needed. I believe he's seeing auntie Optimistic on Wednesday! (I think!) But other than that he's around! 

Have a lovely day, even if it is Monday! 

Love you all xxxxxxxx

Oh and mustn't forget a Christmas Pic.......

You don't get this problem with a Dog!! Xxxxx

Sal.....maybe it is cancer, maybe thyroid,maybe no sleep , but perhaps the dark evenings don’t help ?! There was a programme on the radio yesterday about the pressure people  feel to “ get in the Christmas spirit “ ....it starts so early and goes on so long ! I hope you can have a little bit of fun with the little ones ........x