AWAKE.........

Reading this hurts so much when we all know how fragile and sacred life is.   You see when the patient isn't family I reckon they'll only be a few and far between that would treat that patient like they would want for their own family.

We had to fight so hard against the Liverpool Care Pathway for my late father (I could only think of it as The Liverpool Don't Care Pathway).  The whole situation was horrendous, we were in London on an 'out patient' trip and my dear dad was taken ill and admitted into hospital.  Whilst there dad had a fall and was then taken into the ICU and then put in to some kind of induced coma - from then on it was horrendous, the 'head' of the ICU came to us and said we should let dad go on the Liverpool Pathway ..... as he is a very sick man!! We asked what this was and was told it would involve stopping all food and fluids...... saying that dad is half to already being on the pathway!!!!!!

I could 'not' do this to my dear dad, I could not let this happen.  If my dear dad was this ill having food and water would not prolong his life by that much - but would stop dad from staving to death.  Well, the backlash we (I) faced from this team was horrendous - I had suddenly become a pariah - it was horrible, it was bad enough we were in a city we didn't know or know anyone let alone the fact we had only travelled down to an 'out patient' appointment.

I refused the Liverpool Pathway - I was given so many 'what if's' and that they would not know what dad would be like if they bought him out of the coma - that he might not be able to talk, move, anything - going on about dad being intubated and might not be able to breath for himself, they went on and on..... it did scare me (this was their tactics - we would be scared into agreeing)...... we didn't agree ....

Then it came time to bringing dad out of the coma and to extubate dad (taking dad off the breathing machine) I was so, so scared and was consulting with solicitors (out of fear) ..... only to be told at the very last moment that 'although dad had the breathing tube in - he had never really needed oxygen, that dad was breathing for himself !!!! (so again this was something else they had built up to scar us) - Dad was extubated and ..... Thank the Lord breathed fine on his own and then as the drugs were reverse Dad was 'Dad' - don't get me wrong, Dad was still very poorly but was able to sit up in bed and talk and knew who we were etc..... one of the main doctors from a different department would come in before his shift to see dad and would look at dad 'like Dad was a miracle' .......

Cutting this all short ..... in their words Dad had gone from the sickest person in the hospital to dad was too well for their hospital..... that they needed to transfer dad as he was now too well!! hmmmm

Don't get me wrong we didn't have a happy ending - we did loose dad but in a completely different way......

Within weeks of this there was uproar about the Liverpool Care Pathway that so many families had not had it explained to them and how can this be done to humans that it was stopped (think it was Rusty Lee that brought it to the main headlines)...... 

and as for my sweet dad - the Manager of the ICU had wrote on dads paperworks.... something to the effect of  'his daughter is stopping the Liverpool Pathway' (I still have it somewhere).

Again, with what is happening for Snowys Mom and the others at work, the hospitals doing this - it is wrong, wrong, wrong ...... this is being done at a time when families 'trust' that the 'right and proper' care is being given to their loved ones - to save their lives - not end them! So many possibly won't be aware and will be too wrapped up in grief that they won't know.....

All I know is that each and every one of us is getting older and one day 'this could be any of us' - I truly hope and pray this comes out to the media.  Is if it's not bad enough that people are going through enough with avoiding or fighting covid and its long term effects that they want to do this now - its not fair for the nurses, doctors, care workers that join to help care and save lives - they should not be put into this situation.

Snowys Mom you are amazing and I thank you from the bottom of my heart for 'caring' for actually caring - you are worth your weight and more in gold - you really are.

Sorry for the long post xx

Sending big hugs and love to all the Fruit Loops xxxx 

Bless you, WhatHappened , that fight for your dear Dad must have been so hard for you, but gratifying when he returned to himself! 

Big hugs xxx

An infusion of Sotrovimab is all done and daughter is about to head home again. Just hope it helps kick her Covid fast.

Hugs xxx

Goodness Dicha !!that puts my miserable little right hip into perspective.I think I must be such a baby really..the things people have all the time and put up with.

thanktoy I may well make you a friend and pm you if that’s ok??

so sorry for others too who have osteo arthritis….when you get it yourself and talk to people you realise they have it too!it is a learning curve.

 Flossie25 yes I am going to find a shop which sells orthotic inserts…I didn’t realise you need a GP referral…I will look into that.And so sorry you were a bit in pain after your (over?)long walk.

Right I am going back to read some other posts now…..Xxx

 moomy I looked after an elderly Doctor once who said “we are all living too long”….

Well said Snowys Mum you are a hero xxx

WhatHappened what sad but eventually happy reading your post made!So sorry you had to go through all of that with your beloved Dad xxxxxx

 WhatHappened your post has reduced me to tears. Thank goodness for people like Snowys Mum  is all I can say. It's a disgrace 

Sally

That's shocking and I really feel for those caring for elderly family .  I have friends who have parents now in their 90s and although all living local have had such varied experiences.  One of my friends was ring by a bed manager who told her to get her mother out of the hospital as she wasn't a patient but a bed blocker ! My friend had been trying to find her mother a bed in a suitable residential home - at the time she had earlier dementia, no longer safe to live at home (family had moved in to care for her but couldn't be there 24/7) she was admitted for assessment to a dementia unit.  She fell there, broke her leg so hospitalised.  Surgery delayed a few weeks, recovery slow but my friend had found her a residential home they were happy with.  Unfortunately she deteriorated further and told she would never walk again.  So my friend had to search for different nursing home.  Social services recommendations had 6-12 months waiting list.  It was during this period she had the call saying bed manager wasn't waiting any longer and would just send her to any home.  My friend is quite a strong person who can hold her own but the way this bed manage spoke to her and referred to her mother was so upsetting.  She found her mother a nice home a couple of months later with capacity but by now her mother is just 5 stone - she's about 5'8".  Then they told her that her mother is end of life .  That was 2 months ago.  She's still severely underweight but surviving.  Her dementia accelerated and she's clearly been impacted by the care she's had as she's scared and wants her daughter there constantly as she's been her advocate.  Her sibling and grandchildren help out but only she can calm her mother.   Her care In assessment unit was appalling too.  They lost her clothes constantly so she would be wearing clothes too small and shivering . They blamed the laundry every time !  

My parents died when I was on my 20s and for decades I envied friends who still had theirs but now I feel relieved I don't have that responsibility.  I must be a cold person as I don't feel bad for saying that.  Until 12 years ago we were carers for in-laws but after FIL died it was literally just keeping MIL company, taking her to appointments and doing her shopping.  Nothing like the care and stress of looking after very elderly parents with dementia.  

I think we've all seen good, bad and outstanding care from nhs.  I still fondly remember the outstanding care from MacMillan nurses in 1988 when my mother allowed to come home to die.  No discharge meeting just a yes go home nurses will be with you tomorrow.  They turned up with mattress to stop bed sores, a commode and a hug for anyone who needed it.  About 13 years ago we wanted to get elderly uncle home for end of life care.  We had to have a MDT meeting, who then said they'd assess our comments * he had no children & his wife not in best health but myself and sisters were involved.  A week later they told us yes they'd met and he could come home but waiting on OT assessing home .  Never happened and he died 5 days later.  They had literally moved him to private room that morning, he'd been on 6 person ward, they hadn't rung anyone to say he was going down hill rapidly.  Luckily we had already planned to take my aunt to see him that day - quite difficult as she needed wheelchair outside home, and she had phobia of hospitals.  On arrival they  told us he was sleeping in his own room.  He wasn't sleeping he was unconscious.  His breathing was getting slower, I'd been with my mother when she died so I knew.  I went to speak to nurse to say he's a bit agitated can you ensure he's not suffering.  She was a kindly soul and came in and gently told my aunty it was his time. When I asked after why no I e had told us he'd gone downhill overnight- I'd seen him on Sunday and raised concerns he was in pain and they were only giving him paracetamol and I could see time was short hence we organised a wheelchair accessible vehicle to bring my aunt down on Tuesday morning .  My niece e who works in hospital had seen him Monday and he was still in pain but sitting up talking.  It was how unconcerned certain members of staff were, you could tell they dismissed him as too old, that I found upsetting.  

Grogg   @what happened what terrible stories. Euthanasia rife, very poor care, relatives having to fight. I too thank @snowys mum for continuing to do the right thing, despite this official pressure. It should go to Panorama! Don’t worry Snowys Mum I won’t breathe a word xxxx 

Thanks for your kind comments about being a local authority councillor.  I won't stand as I won't join political party and very few independents and you do really need support.in the role when new to it.  We had local elections last year and I j is a few who stood as new councillors made claims f intimidation.  Got very nasty.  

 WhatHappened well done for resisting the Liverpool don't care death way. You stood up for the dignity of the elderly as well as dear Dad. 

I think the phrase 'consulting with solicitors' might have encouraged the removal  of Dad from the pathway.