AWAKE.........

Glad yiu are stable Mabel , and rumour markers down, well done. Big hugs xxx

There I go again! Tumour markers not rumour markers!!! Sorry xxxxx

There I go again! Tumour markers not rumour markers!!! Sorry  xxxxx

Wide Awake !!!!  Got up and carved the rest of the turkey , so that’s the carcas out of the wayv . Watched recorded coronation street , lovely decaf coffee and cherry cake and 3 roses chocolates !!! Now trying to get some sleep , pleased with myself as today was a happy relaxed day with only a couple little private tears for my mum . We spoke about past christmases with laughter and fond memories

Hope you are all tucked up cosy and that sweet dreams come soon. 

Love 

Ruby Rose  

Well it's been lovely reading back through posts at what a lovely time you had. With that in mind I have avoided posting this, as I didn't want to be the one who moaned, the one who bought the mood down! It's just that my Christmas Day was a bit........ I don't know?! Not how I wanted it to be! Turned out to be just like any other day! I fell asleep in the afternoon even though I was trying so hard NOT too! I wanted to be able to join in with the 'fun' of it all, but I just felt exhausted and emotionally and physically drained! 

I came to bed at around 11.30/12 and just cried! I had hoped so much that for just one day, things might be like they used to be! The only real plus that came from the day was that everyonr else seemed to of enjoyed themself. Oh and I had some lovely gifts! But I wanted Christmas Day to be more than just about the gifts!

I hope you don't mind me giving an honest view about how I felt, even if I'm not entirely sure how I did feel. Sending lots of love to you all. Xxxxxxx

Dearest LondonLass

Sal you have been through the toughest of times and you know only too well that there will be more , what with your health and work . Your spirit is more than willing but your body and mind need total rest and relaxation . You are the one who needs a nanny to wrap you in love and warmth and comfort . We will try our best to help you and we will walk beside you every step of the way . But you need arms to hold you tight and rock you gently. Please tell a friend you need them and that you need a cuddle . People do care but we have to learn to ask . Everyone of us reading your Boxing Day post wishes we were closer to you as our doors and arms are open to you . 

In the west of Scotland we visit people UNINVITED ! I still do even though I now live on the east coast ( different but west coast settlers have changed it for the better ) if you need to go out a wee walk say Good morning/ afternoon - you may get a reply ! When I visited my son when he lived in London I spoke to folk and yes they were surprised but I got a smile back . 

Cry my dear one , let it out . 

Rest as best you can 

all my love 

Lorna

Ruby Rose  

LondonLass - forgot to tag you 

 what sweet posts....pGlad you didnt have too many tears...it does get a little easier....well its only been 12 years and now I can walk near my Dads old  house relatively serenely....

and LondonLass...awww....I did wonder where you were ....what a shame ....I wish I could help...rubyrose is right...you need hugs and lots of them....

love Violettesniff xx

Sal.....Christmas gets so hyped up , if you have had great Christmases in the past you want that again , at some point all of us have to let that go , Christmas is about loss too . People have lost partners , children , homes , even HOPE  , ....you have lost so much to this disease , but you are here , and so many people value you . A new year is coming , I hope you can get your thyroid sorted out ( that will help ? ) , you are facing another hurdle with your job , perhaps , just perhaps a job will come along you can cope with , soyou wont be s exhausted. Someone told me once we need bad days so we can enjoy the good times ....so I hope you have more good days soon .  

I was on my own all day yesterday , I did have a think about what Christmas was like when I had 3 young excited children , but I told myself nothing lasts forever , this is a new type of life for me .......so ......I redecorated the hall !! Changed the pictures , polished the floor ........it looks tidy ( for a while ...)......now I hurt everywhere !

hope you can enjoy today , but if you can’t ....just post some rants ....!!

best wishes .....

Hi LondonLass never worry about posting your feelings here we are always here for you. I'm sorry you were sad but hope you enjoy today Christmas isn't just one day. what a lovely post im glad you reinvented your day. I had a lovely day but I did reflect on the fact that from having four excited children up at the crack of dawn we now we're getting them up ! 

There's a lady on here is it Flossie ? With the signature The One Constant Thing in Life is Change. This is where I've struggled with my diagnosis as my life has been so happy always and I'm still so lucky i couldn't accept this had happened  but this sentence helps me so much . Hope you have a better day LondonLass and do keep posting x