AWAKE.........

I feel for you. Huge hugs and hope sleep is better for all of you on treatment, it’s so long isn’t it when you’re on the treadmill xx

Night night Fruit Loops, sleep well and stay safe, plenty of sleepy fairy dust for all who wish 

thinking of all having treatment and hope all goes smoothly 

hugs xxx

Thanks Anna12345 

Its nice to hear someone say that it’s okay to admit the negative thoughts as well as the positive! I appreciate you and the other Fruit Loops not only understanding but allowing me a safe space to admit how I truly feel. I have always felt like I can say anything on this thread and no one will ever judge, however sometimes it’s hard, especially when someone might not be in such a good place and will therefore think I’m ungrateful for good news! But we are all on our own journeys and we must all be allowed to feel however we need too, there’s no right and wrong in all this! Some days are good, other days are crap, but together we can help each other through anything! 

Sending ((((((Hugs)))))) to all who need them. Hoping tonight EVERYONE gets a good nights sleep. Sal xxxx

Oh yuk that ghastly epirubicin! I found it hard to drink as much as I needed to as it made water taste like toxic waste!. Curiously, as with pregnancy nausea I found eating dry crackers helped. Also I liked strong ginger shots let down with fizzy water and lime juice.

All the very best xxx

Morning.

I'm laid in bed with a slight headache. Amazed that I'm three days into EC and that's it! OH is cleaning downstairs. Far more efficiently than I have ever done. It is usual for us. I clean upstairs because I've always found something better to do. 

I've visitors coming tomorrow but he's talked me out of baking. I am a very messy baker. 

Some days I feel like the little boy with his finger in the dyke. As long as I stay still things will be fine. I know one day the dam will burst, I have been down this road before. It has to, to be healthy. Just got to be ready with the tissues.

Hugs to everyone. Enjoy the moments of joy.

I remember my dam bursting, did me the world of good, a mixture of frustration,  anger and grief.  Probably a chunk of why me too.

I'd gone to the hospital for my 7th cycle of chemotherapy,  the one the day before had to be stopped as I had yet another allergic reaction.  I was greeted with the question "why are you here today"  it turned out my oncologist had forgotten to prescribe the new chemo I was being switched to so I couldn't have my treatment.  

Well that was the straw that broke this donkeys back, mega melt down on the ward, was gently tucked into a side room with a box of tissues and a cup of water, as I sobbed and complained about everything that had gone wrong for me during the chemo.

So what am I saying,  maybe embrace it when it happens,  enjoy it even and hopefully feel better and stronger for it.

Sending hugs, EC isn't fun, pink wee is weird but we do what we have too, we just don't need others making it harder for us.

Bless you both! I hope meltdowns helped…. And yes, they are needed just to let off that excess steam sometimes. 
I had a mega meltdown in M&S, had gone to (hopefully) get some currency at discount for a trip but found that my account had been closed as I hadn’t used it recently, I lost it, had to go to the proper bank department but apologised profusely when I realised they were right. They were so sweet to me, and bless them, once they understood I was only just through surgery, ensured I was ok to leave (supplied with enough tissues) and a couple of days later I had a delivery of a gigantic arrangement of daffodils in bud and tulips, also in bud, with vases too. The flowers lasted for ages, and it’s a beautiful gesture that I’ve never forgotten. Heartfelt thanks go to my local big M&S! I’ve happily shopped there many times in thanks! 

Hugs xxx

Night night Fruit Loops, sleep well and stay safe, plenty of sleepy fairy dust for all who wish 

hugs xxx

By the way, are folk regularly semi-chucked off to have to say they’re not a robot? Happens to me soooo often! 

hugs xxx

Come on moomy I’ve met you in real life……