AWAKE.........

I know the feeling Mag123 I’ve known Santababy since her first diagnosis in 2019. She’s been such a valued member of the group throughout and I know she has touched many lives, as do all the Fruit Loops! 
I know how much you are hurting right now and I also know you are probably questioning how losing someone you have never met in person, can hurt so much? Well that I can answer. It’s because the friendships forged on this forum are VERY Special friendships. They are made at a time when we feel so alone, at our most vulnerable and thinking no one else could possibly understand! Then suddenly someone replies to your post who totally understands you and just ‘gets’ how you feel and what you need to know! Someone who you can share your inner most thoughts with, thoughts that you hadn’t daren’t shared with the ‘real’ world! Someone who started to know what you were thinking even before you had said it out loud! Someone you just ‘connected’ with! This is why losing them hurts so much! 
Now the difficult question, is the pain you are feeling right now, worth it, for all the time you had getting to know Santababy? Yes you would have liked longer and to of perhaps met her in person! But for every ‘friendship’ you create on here, some will be forever and some will be for a fleeting moment, but whichever of those it is these friendships will be forever in your heart! Santababy will always be in your memories, her voice on this site will be here for a long time. People reading for the first time today or in a week/months time will see your post or some of Santababy’s posts and they to will see what true friendship is! 
Friendship isn’t measured by the length of time we know someone, it’s measured by the affect that person had on your life during the time you knew them! 
Sounds to me as if Santababy was a true friend who helped you just when you needed her, she made you laugh and right now cry, but through the pain you feel right now please remember Santababy is now free from pain. 

Sending you a great Big ((((((HUG)))))). I don’t know if any of those words will 1; make sense, as they were written through my own tears or 2: in any way help you! But it’s the only way I can explain how I’ve slowly come to term with the loses of many Fruit Loop Friends over the years! Oh and before you ask, NO it doesn’t get any easier, but I do understand the emotions more now and accept how I feel, is how I need to feel and that’s okay! Xxxxx

Big hugs to you, dear LondonLass , that’s a brilliant explanation of online friendships especially those formed through this forum.

Big hugs too for you Mag123  as I understand that pain too.

hugs for all you loving Fruit Loops xxx

Aw that is sad and shocking even when expected. Rest in peace dear lady. Hopefully she will be well cared for up there and find solace with her ancestors on the astral plane. 

They make a lot of sense, it is gutting to read. Thank you for your insights. I though my son was going to die during a seizure in Sat, he wasn't breathing and his lips were dark blue. I have been struggling to process it ever since. 

My heart goes out to her family, I know how I felt when I lost my Mother. XxxxxxxxX 

Thanks for letting us know lovely LondonLass and for your wise and heartfelt words. RIP dear Santababy , love to her family and all the wonderful fruit loops xxxx

Rest in peace Santababy x

Such sad news I always looked forward to reading her posts - never once feeling sorry for herself. Such a brave lady . Rest in peace  xx

Dear LondonLass your words explain it so perfectly. Yes the pain is indeed worth it for having known dearest Santababy even for such a short while. These connections we make on this forum are so very special and meet a need which as you say cannot be found sometimes from people we already have in our lives. I have mentioned  before I know, on here, that so many of my friends have either deserted me since my diagnosis, or when we meet never address the subject. To them, if I am out at the cinema with them, I must be OK. You wonderful fruit loops know that is not the case and I hope I am able to offer a few words of support to you when needed too. 

I am hurting so much that I am not sure I can bear to go through it again though. You will have seen many come and go on here and one hopes that for a lot of the names that disappear, it is because they don't need the support anymore and are out living their best life but to forge these friendships and to lose people again and again through their passing is an  almost unbearable thought right now. 

I think I might go silent for a while just to process but I shall return xx

Big gentle hugs, Mag123 , be kind to yourself in her honour.

Hugs xxx

Thank you LondonLass  for sharing the news.  Santababy  was such a inspiration , and as others said never complained. RIP lovely lady. xx