Hi guys.
As the title suggests, I live alone and start chemo Tuesday. I have the most amazing family but unfortunately they all live an hour at least away. I am stubborn as they have offered to help when I have needed but I prefer to face some things alone. I can cry when I want, sing when I want, sleep when I want - they understand. My son, who has a family and two jobs, has been there on the most important appointments, the ones where I go into my 'I don't understand' mode, so he has helped me make the biggest decision of all, go for Chemo.
And so it begins with the picc line tomorrow, and then Chemo on Tuesday. I was wondering if anyone else lives alone and dealing with the problems that we now face. I have my hamster, Krakers, for company but I will even have to leave him alone and goodness knows how I am going to deal with his cleaning etc.
Sorry to keep going on but I have so much whirling around in my head.
Thanks Guys
Hi blipandme,
I also live alone and am just coming to the end of radiotherapy - I had lymph node surgery, then FEC-T chemo, then lumpectomy, then radio. Plus herceptin. I've been fine, so please don't worry! I know I've been lucky, but I never had a single day when I couldn't do my own cooking, washing, shopping etc. Sometimes I really, really didn't feel like it, especially when the side effects meant eating was painful or my feet were blistered, but even that wasn't completely unbearable and it only lasted a few days at a time. But I was never actually physically or mentally prevented from doing anything that was really necessary. So I never really needed to ask for help. However I did ensure that I got myself to a place where I was comfortable that if I did need help, I would ask for it, and I reassured friends and family of this so that they didn't worry that I was in desperate need and just pretending to be ok!
I have a cat and a horse. Through chemo I dealt with them as usual, feeding, cleaning, horse riding when I could. I wore gloves and used antiseptic wipes, and I tried to avoid getting bitten (although to be honest I always try to avoid that 
) but other than that no special measures. I did make sure there were friends on standby in case I was struggling at all, because obviously the animals were depending on someone feeding them etc, but I actually managed fine in the end. My nurse was fine with all this, as we agreed the mental health benefits far outweighed any infection risk, and I was careful.
I went to all treatments for chemo etc alone because that's what I preferred, I liked chatting to the nurses and other patients, I didn't feel I wanted looking after or entertaining, and I find I get a lot more scared when I have someone with me for 'support' as I start feeling as if I must need support if they're there! On my own I was totally fine and not really worried by any of the actual procedures. That's just me and everyone is different but I just mean that if you actually want to do stuff alone, as I did, it's probably totally doable. But again, I did always have someone on standby for unexpected eventualities or if I changed my mind. I had someone stay over after surgery as the hospital insisted on it.
So I guess my experience was that I wanted to carry on as normal, which meant doing a lot of stuff on my own. That was fine, but what was really important was to be comfortable with the idea that I might need to ask for help, to have people lined up to help if necessary, and not to feel in any way that I had failed or given in if I did decide to ask for help at any stage. Also, I found that a tonne of people were so desperate to have a role of some kind as they felt like spare parts and just wanted to do something for me, to help them as well as me to deal with the situation. So I sometimes asked for help with little things that I could have done myself, and people actually really appreciated that and jumped at the chance. I realised that this wasn't just my 'journey', it was part of theirs too - they had a sibling or best friend with cancer, and that's scary enough without feeling completely unable to do anything to help. Again, just my experience and how I chose to deal with it, but I hope at least that's some reassurance that you will hopefully be able to manage things as you want to - and if not exactly as planned, you might find the alternatives aren't as bad as you fear!
Really good luck with your line and first chemo. It does go amazingly quickly once you get into the routine of it, and you'll soon get a feel for how it affects you and what you can / want to do at certain times.
Sarah xxx
