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I am Sigrid & my other half was diagnosed with kidney cancer last year had his kidney removed. But very quickly his cancer has returned & now in liver, lung & brain. He’s now on 2nd line treatment due to side effects & cancer still growing. 

He’s recently been in hospital twice due to infection & inflammation. Beginning to get tired much more quickly & not able to be as active or drive as he was last year which is so frustrating for him. Trying to fit in as many bucket list things as we can on days when energy is good. 
Just wondering how everyone else is managing through similar situations? Friends & family are very supportive but COVID has made them visiting or us them, hard over the last year. I know I need more support (more mentally at present) from outside to be able to fully cope with what is happening & know it’s time to extend an arm for help.

  • Hi and welcome to the Online Community. I'm sorry to read about your other half's diagnosis. It's very hard to see the one you love getting frustrated and tiring easily. With the COVID restriction easing hopefully you'll be able to have visits or make visits more easily.

    By joining this forum you'll be able to connect with others in the same situation and find you're not alone. Talking with others caring for family and friends will help a lot so do check-out our Family and friends, so you can connect with others walking the same journey supporting family and friends through their cancer journey.

    When you have a minute, it would be helpful if you could pop something about your  journey so far into your profile as it really helps others when answering or looking for someone with a similar diagnosis. (It also means that you don't have to keep repeating yourself.) To do this click on your username and then select 'Profile'. You can update it at any time.

    It’s always good to talk and the Macmillan Support Services provides lots of information, support, financial guidance or just a listening ear. Most services are open 8am to 8pm, 7 days a week and it's free to call on 0808 808 00 00 have a look by Clicking here to see what is available . You can ask a nurse about medications in our Ask an Expert section, but do allow two or three working days for replies from our expert team.

    Sending hugs, B xx


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  • Hi Sigrid, my husband was diagnosed with first muscle invasive bladder cancer last October then in November found out that it had spread to the lungs and no longer curable. This week, after weeks of him saying there was something else wrong- ct head scan showed that it has spread to his brain Disappointed
    I’m still in a state of shock ... changes everything again.

    So sorry for you and your other half, I can relate so thought I would message xx

  • Hi, sorry to read your latest news from the Ct scan for you husband  I can fully understand where you’re coming from. To here the words incurable is so very hard. 

    I am so glad you took time to get in touch especially at such a difficult time when you’re both trying to get to totally take in what’s been said.

    Hopefully your husband’s oncology team will be able to give palliative treatment.

    Ours team have been able to with my husband, from being a gloomy week’s we are enjoying months together making fantastic memories. Even though the pace is slower it doesn’t matter having time together is so very precious.

    keep being positive together & talk openly as you both will go through so many emotions. Always here for a catch up whenever you need xx