My deteriorating friend.

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Hi all, I’m new to the groups but found the nurses reply recently was lovely so thought I would post here too.

To cut a long story short, my oldest friend who is 51 has cancer that started in the breast, spread to spine, kidney, skull & now brain. She has been through endless treatments for 2 yrs inc intensive radiotherapies recently on the brain. She seems to have deteriorated significantly recently & I am helping her a lot more. She is constantly confused, either speaks nonsense or is silent and almost seems to have left us. This has been the case for a few months now & worsening. She has regular wobbles or full on falls and seizures on occasion. 
does anyone have experience of these symptoms? It’s impossible to know precisely what stage she is at I know, but I would like to have an idea and I am assuming that she is in the latter stages. I wonder what happens next, will she just stop communicating entirely before long? Have we essentially lost her already? Do others with experience of this think that in some level understanding is still there? I speak to her as I always have done despite no response & will continue to do so. She was also being a little aggressive which has never been her. This seems to have calmed though as she has worsened. Any thoughts appreciated. Thanks all.

  • Bill my husband has secondary brain cancer primary in the oesphagus .He has recently had some of the symptons you described .Last week he had what was thought to be seizures not confirmed several falls confusion obsession with numbers etc .He has a palliative team who visited him and the palliative docter thought he had weeks to months .Its not a precise science but we have got him a hospital bed which goes really low .He has just in case meds now a DNR in place .He is under the district nurse team and also has perching stool for bathroom  and raised toilet seat . Some of the symptons could be due to the radiotheraphy  was it whole brain radiotheraphy she had ? .Bill had two awake crainiotomies and two lots of stereothatic radiotheraphy.He started to go downhill from September but the last 3 weeks he has been worse. He is slightly better over the last two days but its very up and down. His sleep patterns are all over the place . Get all the help you can palliative care from g.p and local hospice getting equipment and support makes all the difference .You are a good friend and its devastating to watch  look after yourself .Im in the carers group they are a great bunch on there and we all help each other out .Take care and good luck x

    Granny Sue

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to Granny Sue

    Granny Sue, Thankyou so much for taking the time to reply. I can only imagine what you are experiencing at the moment. My friend has her Mum helping too but neither of them have ever really wanted to know the full facts, which is understandable. It is quite difficult given that she does have slightly better days & some small Hope appears but she can’t possibly return from this surely. It’s so hard to watch isn’t it and I can’t even imagine how you manage. I will get onto the carers forum and a huge Thankyou to you & good luck x