Hi,
My dad got diagnosed with stage 4 brain cancer over Christmas and we have been told he only has 12-14 months left of his life. I am 19 and about to move to uni but I just feel so lost and sad. I’ve never had to deal with anything like this in my life and I’m so stuck on how to navigate it.
i just want someone to talk to, who really understands.
many thanks,
jasmine
Hi Jazz07 and a very warm welcome to the online community which I hope you'll find is both an informative and supportive place to be.
I'm really sorry to read that your dad has recently been diagnosed with brain cancer and I know what a difficult time this will be for you.
As you know, the online community is divided up into different groups so I'm going to recommend that you also join the supporting someone with incurable cancer group. This will give you the chance to connect directly with others who have a loved one with an incurable diagnosis.
If this is something that you think would be helpful, clicking on the link I've created will take you straight there where you can then join and post in the same way as you did here.
Sending virtual (((hugs)))
"Never regret a day in your life, good days give you happiness, bad days give you experience"
Hi Jasmine
a warm welcome to the group. So sorry to hear about all you are going through.
I'm supporting my husband with his stage 4 brain tumour journey. My daughter was only 20 and at uni when her dad was diagnosed. She had also just moved away from home about 8 weeks before his diagnosis so I can relate from a mother's perspective to how you are feeling.
As Latchbook has already said there are various groups within the community and another one you might want to check out is Family and friends forum - Macmillan Online Community
This group is a safe and supportive space so please reach out here anytime. There's always someone about who gets it, someone to listen, to hold your hand and to offer that virtual hug when its needed. You're not alone. We're here with you.
It’s always good to talk so please remember that you can also call the Macmillan Support Services on 0808 808 00 00 - most services are open 8am to 8pm, 7 days a week Clicking here to see what is available. This service provides lots of cancer information, emotional support, benefit and financial guidance or just a listening ear.
There's a lot of info on the main website too that might help. Here's the link Supporting someone | Macmillan Cancer Support.
I don't want to give you false hope but something I've come to realise is that the timeframes that are often quoted are best guesstimates based on published averages and are not set in stone. No one is average. Everyone is unique and these journeys unfold in their own time. My husband was told 12-15 months in Sept 2020 and he's still here 33months down the line.
I know its helped my daughter to spend some quality time with her dad making memories. They were lucky that he was well enough to go skiing to France last year and they also spent a few days in London.. They did a tour of the O2 Arena and got to walk over the roof of it. Be led by what your dad would like to do and how he feels.
My daughter also deferred her last semester at uni for a year as she felt her head wasn't in the right space. My son took the opposite approach and threw himself into finishing his degree. There's no right or wrong way to approach that - do what feels right for you.
Navigate this one step at a time. There's no hard and fast rules about how to follow this path. We're all just doing the best we can but we'll all get there in the end.
For now though I'm sending you a huge virtual hug and lots of positive energy. Stay strong.
Love n hugs
Wee Me xx
Macmillan Support Line - 0808 808 00 00, 7 days a week between 8am-8pm
