Feeling scared

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Hi , I’m new to this group and not really sure what to say. My 20 year old son has been diagnosed with stage 4 glioma nearly 3 months ago, like everyone here it’s a devastating shock and hard to even write down how I feel, but overwhelmed, scared and incredibly sad, it truly drops the bottom out of all our lives.

Every day feels like a new thing to cope with. He was in his 2nd year at university, but is now back home. Dealing with the medical and emotional trauma is hard, but also seeing him, unable to drive, study and knowing most of his friends are away at uni is heartbreaking and days feel very long.

He has had one cycle of Temolozide tablet chemotherapy and soon to start a 2nd, but a fortnight ago he was unwell and ended up in hospital for 3 days and the consultant meeting crushed most of the optimism I have. Feeling scared and alone. I am married and my husband and i talk a lot about it, but his handling and coping methods are very different to mine, so it is causing a lot of tension. My son is mainly very tired but he’s still seeing friends as much as possible. But I worry about the enormity it is to him and his friends to deal with. Thank you for reading my post x

  • HI Netty23

    a warm welcome to the group. So sorry to hear about your son and all that you are all going through. My heart goes out to you.

    My husband was diagnosed with a glioblastoma in Sept 2020 (he was 50 then) so I can empathise with the journey you are all on. 

    All of the emotions you are experiencing are perfectly natural so please don't be too hard on yourself for feeling overwhelmed. It's allowed. I can't imagine how I would feel if my son or daughter was going through this. It's hard enough watching my husband go through it. 

    Everyone handles these situations as best they can and there are no hard and fast right ways to cope. We all just do the best we can. This group is a safe and supportive space so please reach out here anytime. There's always someone about to listen who gets it, someone who understands, someone to hold your hand and to give you that virtual hug when its needed. You're not alone.

    It’s always good to talk so please remember that you can also call the Macmillan Support Services on 0808 808 00 00 - most services are open 8am to 8pm, 7 days a week Clicking here to see what is available. This service provides lots of cancer information, emotional support, benefit and financial guidance or just a listening ear.

    I understand your concerns around the enormity of all if this for your son and his friends but let them support each other. I've learned to be led by my husband with regards to what he feels able to do. He was always a fitness freak and his tumour symptoms until recently had all been cognitive. He's a marathon runner and ran two marathons last year. He's been away skiing to France with our daughter. He even managed to get a part as an extra for the tv series Outlander ( they needed rowing boats and folk to row them) I guess what I'm trying to say is let him live the way he wants to for as long as he can. He'll find his own way through that with his friends. As a mum though, it's like going back to the same emotions you went through when they first went out to play on their own as kids.  

    Please make sure you take of yourself here too. Taking time to  yourself isn't selfish, its essential to help you ensure you are in the best position to support him when he needs you. Even a few minutes with a coffee and a good book can make all the difference. 

    For now though I'm sending you a huge virtual hug and lots of positive energy. Stay strong.

    love n hugs

    Wee Me xx

    Macmillan Support Line - 0808 808 00 00, 7 days a week between 8am-8pm

  • Thank you for your reply.

    my son had a seizure yesterday and now in hospital. Life feel incredibly unfair and the rollercoaster of emotions are overwhelming.

  • Hi Netty

    I hope your son is back home with you after his seizure. I'm sorry your family is having to face this nightmare situation.

    I hope that your son's medical team are supporting you, keeping you informed and making him as comfortable as possible with his treatment.

    Sending love