Last Friday (21/10/22) my mum (75) was showing signs of a water infection in the morning. By lunchtime I was concerned it was a mini stroke so I called an ambulance. On arrival at A&E she was given a CT scan which revealed brain metastases which are inoperable. Mum was like a zombie and out of it all evening and we were terrified she would be gone by the morning. They gave her steroids for the swelling and by Saturday she was more aware of her surroundings and able to talk more. After an MRI scan we were told that they found a shadow on her lung which they believe to be the primary cancer. Today she went for a follow up CT scan which we are hoping hasn’t found anything else. It’s so surreal, sitting and talking to her now as she is just like she was before all this happened. My mum has always been so independent, driving around, bingo 3/4 times a week, looking after my grandson, holidays to France & Turkey every year. I feel like my whole world is falling apart and it’s made worse by not knowing the prognosis yet. Has anyone experienced this type of diagnosis? Im 43 and we have a big family but I feel so alone and sick!
Hi Kinger79
a warm welcome to the group. So sorry to hear about your mum's diagnosis. Nothing prepares you for hearing news like that.
My husband ( then 50) was diagnosed with a primary stage 4 brain tumour in Sept 2020 so I can empathise with what you are going through. Everyone in this group has a story they can share I'm sure but rest assured, you're not alone here.
This is a safe and supportive space and personally I've drawn a lot of support from it over the past two years. There's always someone around to listen who gets it, someone to hold your hand and to offer that virtual hug when its needed.
It’s always good to talk so please remember that you can also call the Macmillan Support Services on 0808 808 00 00 - most services are open 8am to 8pm, 7 days a week Clicking here to see what is available. This service provides lots of cancer information, emotional support, benefit and financial guidance or just a listening ear.
I'm not big on giving advice as there really is no right or wrong way to feel and to react. There is only the way you feel and all those emotions are perfectly normal. When my husband was first diagnosed I went through every emotion in the book and then some and cried oceans of tears. The strongest most resilient people are those who show their emotions and don't bottle things up.
It's very easy to feel overwhelmed during those initial appointments so can I suggest that ahead of the next one that your write down all your questions/fears/concerns and take the notes with you. There's no such thing as a daft question. Those notes will help to keep you on track and make sure you don't forget to ask something that is important to you and your mum.
Please avoid Dr Google - he's a scary guy - and take things one step at a time based on what you know as facts not what ifs.
I'm sure someone else will be along shortly to share their experiences. I hope some of what I've shared has helped.
For now, I'm sending you and your mum a huge virtual hug, love and light. Stay strong. Remember to breathe and to take care of your wee self here too.
love n hugs
Wee Me xx
Macmillan Support Line - 0808 808 00 00, 7 days a week between 8am-8pm
