Hello everyone,
i’m new here and thought i’d post something about my dad’s diagnosis. He was diagnosed early this year with a brain tumour which was found early and thankfully removed, however we have since been told that the cancer will always remain in his brain and that it is terminal and will thus drastically affect his life expectancy. Nobody knows how long he has but the doctor has said it could be anywhere from 6 months - 2 years. I know everyone’s experiences are different but i’m only 17 and feel like i have to grow up fast to help my mum and 9 year old brother through everything. To be fair i’ve been putting on a front about it and trying to act strong but the truth is i’m scared. I have great friends around me that i know i can talk to whenever that also know about the situation but the truth is sometimes i just feel so alone and i don’t know what to do. In all honesty i never thought something like this would happen to me, and i’ve tried to but it at the back of my mind as i don’t really like thinking about it. I do know that talking helps and i have done that with my friends and girlfriend, and i know that probably spending time with my dad is one of the few things that i can do to help how i’m feeling, but i just wondered if anyone else had any advice.
Thanks.
Hi Asmxth
a warm welcome to the group. So sorry to hear about all that you and your family have been through. Life can be too cruel at times.
My husband was diagnosed with a stage 4 brain tumour in Sept 2020. Telling our kids was hard. At the time they were 20 and 22 so a little older than yourself. Both of them took it hard, especially my daughter who is the younger of the two and closer to her dad.
I'll let you into a secret- truth is we're all scared here. Your mum is probably as scared as you are. Something I said to my kids was that we needed to stick together and be open and honest with each other so that we are all in the best place to support my husband. I don't know how close you are to your mum but I'd suggest you have a chat and let her know how you feel.
This group is a really safe supportive space so please reach out here anytime you need to. You might also want to check out Family and friends forum - Macmillan Online Community.. I've drawn a lot of support from these groups over the months. There's always someone around to listen who gets it. You're definitely not alone here. There's always someone to hold your hand or offer a virtual hug too when its needed.
There's a lot of great information on the main website but I've added a couple of links that you might find useful here.
Emotional support for family and friends - Macmillan Cancer Support
Being a young carer for someone with cancer - Macmillan Cancer Support
There's no hard and fast rules here on how to cope and how best to support your dad. Oh if only there was! I'd suggest that you be led by what your dad wants/ needs from you. Initially my husband needed time to himself to come to terms with things but as time as moved on he is keen to do things with the kids. It's about finding a balance and making memories.
As you say it’s always good to talk so please remember that you can also call the Macmillan Support Services on 0808 808 00 00 - most services are open 8am to 8pm, 7 days a week Clicking here to see what is available. This service provides lots of cancer information, emotional support, benefit and financial guidance or just a listening ear.
I hope this has been of some help.
sending you a huge virtual hug. Stay strong. Breathe. 
love n hugs
Wee Me xx
Macmillan Support Line - 0808 808 00 00, 7 days a week between 8am-8pm
