Feeling so alone

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Since my husbands brain tumour operation he has changed 

. We were so close.We did everything together. Always went to bed together at the Same time. Now as he is so tired he goes hours before me. I just sit and cry. I want him back, I want him to hold me like he always did. I'm so lost and broken.  I really can't find a way to even want to carry on. 

  • Hi mypies 

    You REALLY have to think of everything you did together & still could do this promotes positivity that you both have built together within your lives NEVER give up thinking about funny times it helps it REALLY helps 

    Take all the help you are offered & I will reply to messages on a daily basis. 
    read my story. 
    thanks 

    Here to talk. 

  • Thank you.  I'm feeling better today.  He's sleeping a lot and I miss him. He should start his chemo and radiotherapy this week, we are finding it hard to talk, 

    You are right, we,  hopefully still have some time to enjoy being together and each day I try not to feel sad but I can't stop the tears. Thank you for replying. 

  • Oh Mypies, I just want to reach out and give you a huge hug. It's cruel....I understand that only too well.

    Have you spoken to your GP about how you are feeling? Might be worth a wee phone call.

    You need to take care of yourself here too. 

    Seeing them change into strangers is beyond hard. I get that.

    I hope today has been an easier day.

    love n hugs

    Wee Me xx

    Macmillan Support Line - 0808 808 00 00, 7 days a week between 8am-8pm

  • Hi we seem to be on a similar time line. My husband had his op 4 weeks ago and is due to start treatment in next couple weeks. I understand how you feel about the changes already. Like you my husband now sleeps a lot and I find myself sitting alone feeling sad and angry about how our lives have changed and the future we planned has now been taken. 

    We are trying to stay positive and making the most of time which is hard but gets us through. 

    Family and friends are great and so supportive but sometimes this all feels so lonely and hard.

    Sending you a virtual hug and it does definitely help to know we aren't alone in this.

    X

  • Yes sadly we are in a very similar place. My parents are elderly so I've tried to protect them ,only saying that my husband has had a brain operation, my father in law is 97 so he knows even less. 

    Somehow I really fear sharing  I feel like a failure because I can't cope emotionally.  I don't have a close family and I know it's wrong but I look at my dear friends and just think they can't possibly understand as they don't know how much this hurts.

    Tomorrow we are going to the oncology department to discuss my husbands treatment, I'm going to try and speak to the macmillan nurse.  

    Thank you for replying and I send love and hugs to you too x

  • Hi how did your appt? And i hope you were able to speak to a macmillan nurse. X

  • Hello and thank you for asking.  The meeting went very well. The doctor was so positive and humorous.  First time we have laughed in a long time. He explained so many things to us which helped. I realised between the operation and being in contact with the chemo/ radiotherapy specialist there is a time of feeling abandoned and scared, . He gave us some hope . I didn't actually speak to my husbands nurse but she was lovely, almost like she knew I was at desperation point.  She answered some unasked questions ( doesn't make sense but maybe you will understand). She said it's OK to cry, you are frightened, you feel lonely....just hearing a real person I front of me saying that helped. 

    I know now I have to reach out and ask for help when I start falling into a " black hole" He will start treatment a week on Monday and we will be at the hospital for 5 days for six weeks,  there I know I will have help and support, so I feel better. 

    Everyone has been so very kind , I thank you from the bottom of my heart Heart 

  • Glad today went well and hopefully your feeling better placed to deal with everything. My husband also starts treatment on the Tuesday of that week 6 weeks for 5 days. It's hard to ask for help but people do want to support and be there - dear on rhat support to help you through. X

  • Hi, I totally understand, I’m really struggling just now as my future has just vanished… can’t bear watching my husband go through this, why???? He is the best person , we were the best family. My poor teenagers have to watch their father die …. How on earth do I protect them from that.

    sorry I have just been so depressing, I just wanted to say all that you are feeling is the same as me…. I wish someone could tell me what to do CryCryCry