My fiancé was diagnosed with a stage 4 brain tumour 4 weeks ago. We got an emergency license and married in the hospital. We have been told it can’t be removed and he’s too unwell for treatment. They have given him weeks maybe months. I feel so alone. We had all these plans for the future. My husband is only 51. I have all these feelings and I can’t believe I’m about to not have my best friend. He has good moments and then he has bad ones, and sometimes I feel likes he’s slipping away from me. I’ve had to decide to place him in a nursing home, mainly for safety and I’m disabled so not able to physically care for him. I was holding onto the hope that there might be some sort of treatment, but yesterday I found out they wouldn’t do anything. It seems so unfair. I keep thinking why is this happening. I get angry sad hurt numb… sometimes I can’t stop crying. I don’t know how to cope with this, and I feel lost.
Oh Sara, so sorry to hear this. Nothing prepares you for hearing that diagnosis. It rocks you to the very core and then some.
My husband (he was 51 at the time) was diagnosed with a grade 4 brain tumour in Sept 2020. They were able to operate to debulk his tumour but after 6 weeks of treatment he said no to any further treatment.
You're right it is so unfair. it's cruel. it's heartbreaking but all these emotions you're going through are normal. You're going through a tough journey here so don't be too tough on yourself. I can empathise with where you are at - I've been living that journey for a while now.
You have to do what's best for both of you. Easy to say but try not to fixate on the timeframe. Our timeframe has changed several times over the course of the last 15 months. We were originally told my other half had 12-15 months then in March that was revised to a few short months. Now we're at the 15 months mark and he's still here. Everyone is different, every situation is unique but please take it a day at a time and make the best of the time that you have together however long that may turn out to be.
This group are really supportive so please reach out here whenever you need to. There's always someone around who gets it and is on hand to listen and offer a virtual hug. It’s always good to talk so do call the Macmillan Support Services on 0808 808 00 00 - most services are open 8am to 8pm, 7 days a week Clicking here to see what is available. This service provides lots of cancer information, emotional support, benefit and financial guidance or just a listening ear.
Stay strong. Stay positive. Sending you a huge virtual hug.
love n hugs
Wee Me xx
Macmillan Support Line - 0808 808 00 00, 7 days a week between 8am-8pm
