Very worried and scared - can't sleep

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Hello all,

I'm worried sick that i have cancer. I have two young children, and the thought of cancer scares the life out of me. I can't sleep!

In February I started feeling very tired and had this strange stabbing pain, in what i thought was my cervix. I went along to the Dr's and she did and examination and bloods. Bloods came back I was very anaemic. So off I went with some iron tablets to take. Fast forward to now, and I just didn’t feel right. I was still getting those strange twinges and had been getting lower left side back pain on and off. Now I have always been constipated since I could remember, but lately I just felt like I needed to assist myself every time I did a poo. I also never left like I had emptied my bowls properly. With all this I went back to the GP, who did more blood. She confirmed stll anaemic and put me on the 2ww. I have also found a very large egg size shape and feel lump in my rectum, which is extremely frighting. I have my CT scan tomorrow and waiting for them to call to book colonoscopy and endoscopy. I think I will call tomorrow to hurry them up.

I’m trying to keep to together, as I can see my husband is very worried, but I’m terrified given how big the lump is that I felt (I googled – I know I shouldn’t have, and now thinking the worst). I believe that is what is causing the blockage when I try to poo.

Anyone been through similar. The waiting is so tough!!! I’m a ball of anxiety, hardly eaten and don’t know how long I can keep it together.

Kareno62 1 month ago

Hi Odette1fa42a0 and a warm welcome to the board. I know it’s easy to say don’t worry but you don’t know what you’re dealing with yet and worrying will cause all sorts of twinges and gurglings which will make you worry more and then you’re in a spiral of worry. The lump may be a harmless polyp but the important thing is that you’re in the system and going to get checked out. Google is not your friend so try and avoid.

If, and it is very much an if at this stage, it does turn out to be bowel cancer then there is a lot of treatment available and lots of success stories on here from people who have been through the treatment and are getting on with their lives ( I was diagnosed in 2016 and I’m still ‘no evidence of disease’)

Unfortunately you’ll have to wait for the results of your CT scan but they will tell you straight after the colonoscopy what they’ve seen (if anything) and any action taken

Please let us know how you get on?

Take care

Karen x

Macmillan Support Line - 0808 808 00 00, 7 days a week between 8am-8pm

Odette1fa42a0 1 month ago in reply to Kareno62

Thank you Karen for your kind words your right the more I think about it the more frightened I get. Got the CT scan this morning. X

MicroMaster 27 days ago

Hi Odette. I think we've all been in this position of waiting and struggling with the impact of a possible cancer diagnosis. The mind is a wonderful thing in imagining all sorts when it knows nothing. So the mind is the thing to try and control so it deals with what is the actual situation and not what "might be".

This is a post I made when I was starting the cancer journey and the found the information so helpful in controlling fear and anxiety, which I had plenty of as I suffer with Panic Disorder! https://community.macmillan.org.uk/cancer_types/bowel-colon-rectum-cancer-forum/f/general/274907/controlling-anxiety-and-panic

It does get easier when you have your treatment sorted out so you know what you're dealing with so I hope you soon have that in place. Keep coming back here for any advice and reassurance as it's a great group! All the best x