Hi all, thank you for accepting me. My husband has been diagnosed with stage 4 bowel cancer. At present I am not accepting it, it makes me feel sick, panicky, shaky etc. it was a complete shock. Anybody else in the same situation. Many thanks
I know. He is very tired now and sleeping a lor which must be the chemo. His urine is orange and I have asked him to drink more. I wish he would let me ring the nurse but he won’t. He needs to take his laxatives. I am certainly not coping with any of this. I really did not think it was going to be this hard. He starts his next chemo on the 18. Just found out granddaughter has a chest infection. Anything else. Hugs to all xx
Yea distraught I’m so pleased you are seeing someone and hope it helps. We are having a better day and daughter dropped us off at Metrocentre so pushed him round in his wheelchair and it was lovely to do something normal, went for coffee and cake and a little look round shops - home now after she picked us up. Don’t know how she manages to fit us in with working full time and having a busy family life. Don’t know how we would manage without her she keeps me sane and nothing seems too much trouble. She also goes to our sons hospital appointments with him saving me from going. So today has been a good day and hope you ladies are having a better day today. Xx hugs to you all xx
I am really pleased you had a good day out. My phone went off at 3 and it was today I was at the doctors not tomorrow. Thankfully daughter was able to take me otherwise I would have had to cancel it last minute. Hubby has just been laid up yesterday and today. He is asleep again. Gosh I dislike this so much. Doctor gave me number of IMPACT for counselling to talk things through and get my head around this. Does anyone have any easy receipts for residual diet. I have not cooked for years xx
Just had macmillan doctor on phone and her and nurse coming to see us next week to discuss DNR and other stuff which I assume is where he wants to be home or hospice at some point and what to expect- I am dreading it and feel sick just thinking about it although I know we need to know these thing. It all seems to be gathering momentum and I’m not ready!! Anyone else had this stuff?
Sending you huge huge hugs torry. I don’t think anybody would be ready. Gosh I do feel your pain. Get some lavender and have an early night. Just let off steam on here as we are here for you xx
Distraught, I'm glad you went to the Drs, I do hope you can access some counselling soon.
Torry, my partner has already talked with macmillan right at diagnosis and made some arrangements which I found unbearable to even think of but it helped him and he has also been referred to a local hospice should he need them (they offer day services and such) and has decided that is where he would like to go at the end. It kills me even writing that and I know how overwhelming it seems.
Hi all, just found out today that my husband (he's 47) has stage 4 rectal cancer which has spread to the liver. We have 2 young girls (7& nearly 11). We are waiting for the cancer centre to get in touch about chemo but no idea what to expect. I feel shattered and am completely devastated for all of us but it's the impact on my girls that is getting to me. Just no idea what to do.
As with you all, husband seems to be dealing with it much better than me. I'm clinging on to the hope we have at the moment but struggling to eat and sleep. Our friends have been really supportive but it's impossible for them to understand how I'm feeling x
Firstly I am so very sorry that you find yourself here and sorry to hear of your husbands diagnosis. I know the world will be spinning at the mom and seem like a suddenly dark and frightening place. For me these initial weeks were terrifying as there is the uncertainty and not yet having a treatment plan.
I hope that as with my partner (also in 40s) they will get on to a treatment plan as soon as they have all the results and information they need. While there is no magic way for us to deal with all this, please know that everyone here is very supportive and we are here to listen to and support each other. Be kind to yourself right now and know that you are allowed to be upset and scared, and can come here to talk to us x
I am sending you the biggest of virtual hugs right now and my heart hurts for you.
So sorry to read about your husband . He is very young . I will get you more information tomorrow but if you click on my user name you can read about how my mum’s team managed her spread to the liver . Chemo was very effective and opened up surgical options at a centre of excellence for the liver . They removed 73% of her liver . Just to give you some hope .
Thank you so much both for replying, it means the world right now. It just seems like it will be impossible to get through although I know I will. My youngest doesn't really understand but my eldest more so but not how serious it is. I've been told they'll discuss support with us when we get our appointment (hopefully) next week at the specialist cancer centre. I know we all need to look after ourselves as well but I'm not finding that particularly easy at the moment
They said today they hope the chemo will.be able to control the liver cancer and then they will be able to operate. Although the rectal lump is large, they have said its still localised with only a few lymph nodes affected although as its in the muscle wall he would need a permanent stoma. Just hope we get to that stage, will be a small price to pay.
@court thank you for sending any info through, im the type of person who needs to understand-hubby is the complete opposite!
