Hi, after googling some of the clinical stuff on my letter, my prognosis has come at as poor and don’t seem to have much chance of survival. When I was in my consultation with my consultant he started on about prognosis and complex cancer. I hadn’t long had my op. So we didn’t go into it. I was told I was cancer free. when I saw him again to sign for chemo he asked did I want to put my body through this, so now I’m thinking he didn’t feel there was much point,. From what I read DRS and OS is very poor. I did ask to speak to a doctor last w eek but my chemo nurse phoned .a s I tried to have a talk about it with my husband. She said my bowel looked healthy and there was no spread, and I was having chemo which was the belts and braces. When I said about my letter she said yes I was higher risk but they deal with that everyday. She knows I suffer from extremely bad anxiety, I remember after the op one surgeon said we will treat this as a chronic condition and keep a close eye on you. I’m hoping to get a call from my GP tomorrow. I have an oncologist phoning on Wednesday to talk to me before I go into my next chemo cycle. I am just on my week off, I feel unwell. I went out last night for my grandson ‘s birthday, I haven’t been out for anything so long like sitting in a restaurant. I felt panic. I was going out every day but not in these surroundings.I don’t know how much is I fee weak from the chemo or my thoughts or just a bit of both. I just want to cope and enjoy life a bit. I’m dreading cycle 3 . Sorry for the long post. I have no pain in my body just the constant ache that I have from this hernia. I just fell low and tired so my mind won’t rest.
What a great idea , this is a lovely book . A friend gave me this when I was going through treatment 
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you ok Nelly ?
went out yesterday for my daughters 40th drank zero, ate a little.
but time with three grandsons was just the tonic 
keep smiling Nelly x
Positivity Nelly,
we’ve got this
