Bowel cancer returned

Hi Gaul, 

Just saw your message. I had my chemo last Friday and have been a bit out of action since then. I will spare you the details, accept to say that I lost most of the weekend one way or the other. 

Now I have a picc line in which is behaving so far.

Hey that is good news for you that you have that BRAF gene isn't it? I am a mutant!!

Bad news for me apparently as the treatments rarely work,

I am told by my oncologist.

What chemo will you have do you know?

I am really struggling with nausea at present and don't feel like eating much at all, and even people talking about food make me want to heave ho! 

Is brandy good for the appetite? Not sure I can take it with all the medications. I have had bad diarrhoea aswell.

Wishing you a good night 

Lou Xx 

Hi Lou,

Sounds like you’ve been through the mill a bit lately - I feel for you.

I have my first of new chemo, Folfiri possibly with Panitumumab on the 9th. Apparently it doesn’t give you neuropathy but if I’m unlucky it may aggravate the neuropathy that I’ve already got. My prognosis is ‘in the order of 24 months’. Sobering thought. I’ve lightly sugar-coated the news to my parents and added a bit more sugar-coating for my son in Stockholm.

On a day to day basis I feel ok. I still struggle to eat and maintain weight and I know that the chemo will only make that harder to do. I walk 2 miles + every day but have to take paracetamol first - otherwise I get a feeling like I’ve badly pulled my stomach muscles. Generally I sleep ok after I’ve talken my Amitriptyline. I also have 2-3 half hour naps during the day. 

I don’t get depressed - even though my dream of going back to France to live is now probably off the agenda. Que Sera sera. So get on with it. 

Brandy. A bottle lasts me about a month so I’m not a sot (although I have a couple of glasses of wine every day too :-)) Brandy is a recognised stomach -settler in France - a ‘digestif’. I sometimes get a tickle in my throat - it goes instantly if I gargle a small brandy. Very satisfying!

Braciing myself for the next lot of chemo. 

I hold your virtual hand for our walk along a difficult path...

Gaul.

Many thanks Gaul, 

That is good that you have had those difficult conversations now with your family, it must be a weight off your mind. The prognosis is only that and hopefully you will respond well to your chemotherapy. Unpleasant as it is. But maybe you will get on with it alright this time around as it is tailored to your cancer. Let us hope so anyhow. 

I am a bit better now but still have to force myself to eat much of anything. Had vomiting episode this morning after eating a banana and drinking a green tea, it wasn't pleasant, put me off both for life. .

I hope this is it now as I am going to have to get back in touch with the chemo nurse if it continues. I don't have a lot of energy and as it is pouring with rain today I am not going out.

Feel a bit miserable tbh and just want the 3 months to be over with so I can feel well again. You would think with all our scientific advances the treatment would be made not quite so unpleasant. 

My older sister came over this morning and tried to cheer me up. I have given the younger one the day off! Think she needs a bit of a break from me.

Thank you for holding my virtual hand that is reassuring, 

Hi Lou,

Yeah, I pick up on your bit about scientific advances should include making the chemo experience a tad less unpleasant. In my medical ignorance I don’t see why, if the scan can pinpoint the tumour, then why can’t they stick a bloody great needle into it and zap it instead of poisoning our whole body with the wretched stuff?. Maybe they’re just not as clever as me :-)

I understand only too well about feeling miserable and wanting the next three months to be over and feeling well again - and how can I ignore the fact that I’m battling to maintain a decent weight now and how much harder it’s gonna be during treatment. I’m only having it because I promised my sons mother that I would - so that I might see him again. Otherwise I might have taken my chances...

Once again I say that my saviour in all this is WhatsApp and the free connection it gives me to friends all over. 

My battery is down to 6% so I’ll sign off before I’m cut off!

bon courage

Gaul

Hi Gaul, just dropping in to wish you all the best for tomorrow.  I believe you are starting your chemo then. I have my 2nd dose this Friday , I hope it goes better than the first session. My hair is coming out now !! It's quite depressing for me .

I don't really want to wear a wig so I will stay indoors until it grows back .

Still snowing here in the South east , do you have snow where you live ? 

Yes it is good to have watsap isn't it .

Have you tried complan to put weight back on ? The chocolate one is ok if you have it in hot water like a hot chocolate , I made some soda bread today and had a couple of slices for lunch , I hope it doesn't give me a stomach ache later.

Good luck for tomorrow,  I hope it all goes well,

Lou 

Hi Lou - correct, it’s tomorrow and thankyou for your good wishes. Needless to say I’m not looking forward to it. I’ve been warned that I’m in for a good blast of chemo but that they can turn down the wick if I can’t take it. I translate this to mean that I will benefit (eventually!) more the more I can take so I’m gonna do my best.

What was wrong with your first session? (as if feeling like shit isn’t bad enough). I’m sure that as a female, losing your hair is a big deal but it’s all part of the means to the end so brace yourself sister!

No snow here - just cold.

I’ve  got a couple of cunning plans to try to maintain weight and I shall add complan, thanks.

live just done my daily 2 mile walk with my brother and his partner both of whom have been very supportive. I have to take a couple of paracetamol beforehand else my stomach hurts too much. She’s even offered to clean my place but I want to do everything myself while I can - and I’m not entertaining the idea that a time will come when I can’t.

And good luck to you too for Friday :-)

Gaul.

Hi Gaul,

Not sure what happened but I typed quite a long reply and tried to put in an emoji and it all vanished. Really not getting on with this website. Anyway I am OK and lots of luck for tomorrow. I am glad to see you are still doing your walking. I also am not happy with other people doing my house work, laundry ect. If I can do it I will. Although my sister's took some washing home with them and returned it ironed which I don't usually do so that was good. 

Best of luck for your cycle tomorrow, wish you a easy trip, 

Lou 

Hi Gaul, how are you doing now? I hope you are coping with the chemo OK. I have my 2nd cycle tomorrow.

Good luck for tomorrow Louloubelle xx

Hi Lou,

How are you doing now? 

My bowel cancer came back this time in my ovaries. I have been operated on but still have small deposits in my peritoneal layer in my abdomen. I will be on palliative chemo soon and there is talk of an operation in Basingstoke, but the oncologist is not recommending HIPEC, but I'm not sure why. 

Hope you are keeping positive. I am because I have a little boy that's two years old. I'm going to keep going and every day choose to be here. 

Lucy