LEFT IN THE DARK

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Hello Everyone

I went for a colonoscopy two days ago. This followed 2 x FIT tesr one at 377 ug and next at 400g - gp said might settle down on its own to repear the test in a fortnight. Blood tests all in range - very slightly anemic. 

Went for colonoscopy hoping it be a polyp and assuming any fear I had was irrational if blood tesrs all ok. Wrong could see on screen mutant mass and lost it. I asked what is that! Recoiling, terrified. In hindsight wish hadnt looked at the screen... looked raw and bad. 

The person doing scan said have you only just had symptoms cos looks to have been there a while (yes is the answer- only just get symptoms). Sre say looks 'endoscoply malignant' and couldnt complete the scan said it is strangling the area. Then they say will be do biopsy, arrange another scan to see if spread. 

Sent home dont know if I am dying or not. Donr know anything much - and wish had not have been told half a story because of the distress half knowing is causing. 

It looked mutabnt - i could not believe it in my body and I not know. Its 600mm - 'giant' I read. Frightened extra more cos she say looks to have been there a while and was surprised no earlier symptoms. I am terrified. For my children particularly. Not knowing and being given crumbs of information feels a bit 'much'. Likely have cancer is what I am left with. Terrified. Next scan on wednesday. MDT on the friday next week. I want ro know if treatable but terrified it isnt. How does a person manage that anxiety? Tips? I am quite shocked they show you it, tell you it probably is nasty and send you home with a panflet to stew on it. Biopsy and scan outstanding. Is that usual way people told?

  • Hi  and a warm welcome to the board. Yes it’s a shock isn’t it? I also saw the mass in my rectum on screen and they told me afterwards that they were 99% sure that it was cancerous and the biopsies that they’d taken would be sent off to the lab to confirm. I had been passing blood and having loose stools but naively thought it might be piles.

    I then had a CT scan and then the nurse rang to arrange an MRI and told me that the path lab results had confirmed that it was cancer. Once all the scan results were back and the MDT had decided on a treatment plan, I met with the consultant and things honestly felt a bit better once I knew the plan.

    Bowel cancer is notoriously slow growing but very treatable so please try not to assume the worst. 
    I’ve attached a link to a recent MacMillan article about dealing with stress and the support desk is also open every day if you want to chat to someone?

     Do you need help managing stress 

    The next months will be tough but we’re all at different stages of treatment and recovery on here and happy to help and support you through yours

    Take care

    Karen x

    Macmillan Support Line - 0808 808 00 00, 7 days a week between 8am-8pm