May I ask for advice

Hi Red27, I am so sorry to hear about your father, I can understand this has to be a big shock and very upsetting for you, and also dificult to get your head around it all. My dad passed away three years ago from Lung Cancer. So I do know exactly how you feel. But, I also now have Kidney cancer with bone mets.

Right or wrong, it definitely sounds like he is trying to protect you! Which every father would want to do for their children. A few months, is not a lot of time, and he is probably still trying to come to terms with his diagnosis and probably not ready just yet, to tell you everything. 

• stage 4 – the cancer has spread from where it started to at least 1 other body organ, also known as "secondary" or "metastatic" cancer
• grade 3 – cancer cells that look abnormal and may grow or spread more aggressively

He will be on a daily tablet, and also have another medication every 2 to 3 weeks intravenously. I hope this helps you a little bit, as I am reluctant to say much more, as this should really come from your father, when he is ready.

I wish you, your father and family, all the very best!!

Thank you so much for taking the time to reply to me. X

Your very welcome. I'm sure you do already, but the best you can do right now is support and love him as best you can. He'll open up and talk to you when he is ready. Macmillan have a very good support team, for family members. Give em a call, and of course, there are plenty of us here to talk to too. There's no right or wrong way to cope with these emotions. But, it does help to talk with someone. 

The bone cancer section doesn't appear to be as active as many of the other threads, it may also help to join the Prostate cancer thread also.And any other that you feel may help.

I wish you, your father and family, all the very best!!

Andy x

Hi Red27, My mum has lung cancer which has spread to the bones. Sadly undetected in her lung and misdiagnosed in her bones until it was too late to be treated. It's good to hear that your dad is able to get treatment for his. I hope this helps.

With my mum I assume that her cancer began in her lung, and spread to her bones. Lung cancer is hard to detect so we only knew something was wrong once she had problems with what we now know to be her bones, by which time it was too late for treatment.

Anddy outlines the grade and the stage in his reply. The Chemo tablet your dad is having is likely an attempt to shrink the tumours. He may also be offered other treatment, but this depends on the type of cancer, where it is, and other factors (health, age etc).

I recommend you read here, and on the Cancer Research website about the type of cancer your dad has, and read about the treatment so that you can be support him through it.

Ask him about it, how he's feeling etc, but also see if you can contact his specialist nurse for help and support as his Son. They can also help explain things to you, even generally, to help you as much as possible.

Good luck on your journey.