Newbie to the group

Hi KymmmH  and welcome to this supportive group. Sounds like you have been through a lot in a short space of time. Many of us will recognise the "why me" feeling. Lots of experience here, so always someone with an answer to a question or just to talk to. Best wishes.

Thank you so much 

I asked that question and then asked why not me?

This poxy germ doesn't differentiate between deserving/non deserving people or children or adults but it did choose me and Im going to give it the disrespect it merits and kick its ass and I sincerely hope you will too! The diagnosis isn't the end of the world so stay positive and dont give in to the doubts and fears. With my very best wishes of only the best. Don't give in and don't give up

I understand how you feel.  My husband had dialysis at home for over 30 years with me doing the needles etc.  After he died I suffered a lot from depression.  But I got my life back and started to enjoy it til cancer struck.  I have transitional  cell cancer in kidney.   My thought was. "Why me"  hadn't I done enough.    But it didn't help,  what did help was the realisation that despite cancer I am still here.  I hope things get easier for you and you can find there can still be enjoyment in your life.  Xx

Hi KymmmH,

Welcome to the group. You've had a shock and some serious treatment and it can take a while to get back onto an even keel.  But if you look at the experiences of others on here you are not alone. And if you read further you'll see that over time we all seem to settle down and concentrate on living life as well as we can and not allowing the cancer we've had to control our lives, however long or short they may be.

What I'm going to say next may surprise you, though. Some of us never feel 'why me?', even at the start. I have never thought anything but 'why not me?'

After all cancer happens because cells start to run out of control. It is a random event and we don't notice it happening.

The person inside which it happens did not make it start. We may have smoked a lot or we may not, we may have a familial tendency to that cancer, or we may have worked in an industry where cancer-causing agents are used. And those sorts of things can increase the likelihood of cancer in our bodies. But there's nothing deliberately targeted at or by us. 

I have always felt that so, when, like you I heard I had bladder cancer it was a shock. And yet it wasn't a complete shock as my mother died suddenly  of bladder cancer in 1974 (diagnosed too late to do anything). I haven't smoked since then so considered my probability of getting cancer very low: clearly it wasn't. Like you no one could believe I was ill, I was so very fit. 

So I concentrated on having all the treatment they could give me and on getting well again. And I decided to be as cheerful as possible which my family have said helped us all deal with this. It helped me the most, and I have say that I have never cried about the cancer, even when they told me. And, whatever happens, I shall do my best to maintain that stance.

I don't talk about positivity because so often people seem to think that if you aren't positive enough that's why recurrences happen.

My motto is 'worry doesn't cure cancer'. And it helps me enjoy life. I hope I'll be enjoying it for some time yet. And so will you.

All the best,

Latestart

Hi KymmmH,Welcome to the group.I hope you will find it helpful and supportive.Best wishes.Jane x