Husband’s diagnosis

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Hello I hope it’s ok to write here although it’s not me with the diagnosis. 

My husband had a checkup at the GP on Wednesday and they found blood in his urine. 
The blood was not visible. He was referred to urology and had an appointment today. 
Again there was blood, although not visible. He had a flexible cystoscopy this afternoon and they have said he has bladder cancer. 

I can’t believe it as he’s had no symptoms. 
He will be having surgery in about 3 weeks and also a kidney scan before then.  
Is there anything we should be doing or not doing? 
He doesn’t smoke but does drink alcohol a few times a week. 

Im so scared. It wasn’t what we were expecting today.  

  • Hello  and welcome to the group. It's fine for you to post here. We have many people  supporting loved ones. The first thing we say is that bladder cancer can be treated successfully. Many of us have been there. The surgery is called a TURBT (trans urethral resection of bladder cancer) . Sounds worse than it is. Usually done in day surgery, but be prepared for an overnight. Offending cells will be scraped away and biopsies sent for analysis. The results will then determine the next step. The early days of uncertainty can be very stressful but once a plan is in place things become easier as there is something positive to focus on. Scans are just part of the diagnosis procedure to help with what they are dealing with.  In the meantime, it is important for your husband to keep drinking water to keep things flushed out. Always someone here to answer any questions. Best wishes.

    Best wishes to All,   rily.

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  • Hello

    thank you so much for replying and for the helpful information. 

    My husband is a very good patient and is drinking lots of water! 
    I’m feeling that I just want to look after him while he is wanting to carry on as normal!

    Its is helpful to have found this community and I will be glad of the support it offers. He doesn’t want to tell anyone at the moment so it’s helpful for me to have a place I can write about it.  

  • Hi Zebedee, 

    Welcome to the group, but sorry to hear about your husband's diagnosis.

    It's totally expected to be scared. It's a complete shock to get the news you have cancer and it's just as difficult for loved one's also.

    The beginning and not knowing what to expect was certainly the toughest part for me, but as things move on it did get easier (hard to believe at this points for you for sure). It certainly helps when you have the treatment plan to focus on. I'm not saying the journey is easy, but knowing what's to come does help.

    I had a number of tests in the beginning, CT scan, MRI, ultrasound, flexible cystcopy.

    I'm having a treatment called BCG, which will go on for three years all being well. I have biopsies taken every there Month's, but the time between these will extend over time.

    So far since the tumour removal (Dec 2022) I've got the all clear and my next biopsy is on 8th March.

    I found this forum and the lovely experienced posters a massive help and hope you will also.

    I wish you and your husband all the best and please ask any questions. I'm not the most experienced but someone will be able to help for sure.

    Kindest Regards


  • Hi Xebedee,You are very welcome here.I hope you will find this group a help and support.Love and best wishes.Jane x

  • Welcome to the group Xebedee. I'm the OH to the bc person too, and the group have been marvellous to and for me for years since I found it. Forums just aren't his kind of thing. I think it sounds marvellously quick how your husband's gone from step to step in so few days. It may not always be as quick but it's a great start. My OH's only symptom was night frequency, and as an older male with benign prostate hyperplasia {BPH] ie enlargement, this blurs the line anyway.

    Best wishes, 


  • Thank you Trevor. Congrats on the all clear. Long may it continue.  

  • Thanks Denby.  I’m going to write another post in the ‘diagnosis’ section as things seem to be moving fast for my husband.  
    All best wishes to you and your husband.  

  • Hi Xebedee. I was diagnosed in August with BC T4B that has spread to my Pelvic Muscle like your OH i too had no symptoms whatsoever and it only came to light when i carried out some very strenuous work (pee was cherry red). Again like your OH i decided to just carry on as normal, mainly because i am of the attitude of there is nothing i can do about it apart from under go treatment. Just let your OH do as he feels is the right decision for him. I still work and i have informed everyone at work which was the best thing for me to do as they allow me my time off with pay for all hospital appointments which is a lot of visits. My OH is always trying to do things for me that she never did in the past and it infuriates the hell out of me and i have to remind her i am not an invalid, the worst part of all this is how i see it affecting the people close to me. As others say it is treatable and i wish him all the best