Harrowing!

Hi Cryssie,I’m so sorry this has happened.I can empathise.I have experienced difficulties with my sister.She supported me through cancer brilliantly but following the death of our mother 4 years ago she hardly ever gets in contact or visits.Soon she will be moving over 500 miles away and I will miss her.I blame her horrible partner for the personality changes but I would love my sister back.Love Jane x

Thank you so much for answering. I'm so sorry. This must be horrible for you and your sister of all people, I can't begin to imagine how painful that is. If only people realised the inner turmoil and pain of how we feel but it seems difficult to meet and talk to anyone who really understands this journey and wants to stick with a loved one through it. I hope through this community it might be possible to connect more with folks who really understand. It is so good to know we are not alone and so heartwarming when someone reaches out. Thank you again.

This sounds horrible and I'm not surprised you are upset. Her excuse sounds very superficial and lacking empathy. Whatever is behind it all (and I guess it's fear of cancer or an inability to not be the centre of attention) the last thing you need is to be around someone who takes and doesn't give even a tiny bit.

I am sorry you have lost someone you thought of as your best friend. It must have been a shock. However, now you know what she is truly like, you needn't waste any more time on her. I hope you can find friends who help build you up after your experience. 

Since I retired I have joined reading groups, literature classes, walking group, this forum, and a museum. And also online writing groups. Each of which gives me a great deal of pleasure and through which I have made friends, with whom I have various types and depths of relations. I suggest you give it a whirl and meet people whose company you enjoy and who want to meet you as you are, not just someone filling a seat in their mobile home.

All the best,

Latestart

Sorry to hear that, but sometimes people who you thought were real goods friends show their true colours, that we were never ever able to see before. 

It sounds to me like you are actually better off without a friend like that, everyone indeed has their own problems, but to treat someone like that who is going through cancer is quite frankly abhorrent to me. 

Maybe you might be able to patch things you or maybe not, but as I said I think you are better off without if I'm honest. People change and people lives change, all my close friends even if I don't see them much or vice versa, I am always there for them and then for me when needed, that's what true friends are like. 

I know this probably doesn't help but sometimes making a new friend can fill a gap that is left.