Had ct scan results off consultant today. Not the news I wanted to hear. There is a thickening in my left ureta, a tumour can't be ruled out. I need to go back in under anaesthetic to go through the tube and left kidney. If anything suspicious they will take biopsies. So back to the drawing board . Just feels like when I was first diagnosed 12 months ago. Most of my cystoscopies come back a pale healthy bladder. So to say I'm gutted is an understatement. Has anyone else been through this or anything similar. I'm having number 15 bcg too on Monday then it's supposed to be my 6 month break. I got called back tge hospital today also to have a ct contrast of my chest. My anxiety is terrible .
Sorry for the long post. But felt better after foung it.xx
Hi Trish18, my cancer came back at least 4 times after my initial diagnosis (possibly 5 I lost count ) during the 27 dose BCG treatment I was having. Each time it meant another TURBT and biopsies. After paralysing feelings of anxiety I decided I couldn't live in fear so I became an expert at distracting myself. Cake, junk tv, 2 marvellous holidays (one to Sri Lanka where I saw a leopard and cried 
also a new puppy. 
Finally after dose 27.....it didn't come back! Phew. 5 years on fingers crossed, hope for the best, seize the day. Sending love Hx
Hi Trish, sorry to hear you feel back to square one, but it's not the most uncommon thing with this pesky bloody disease.
I've had biopsie/s myself today and was hoping for an clear for once for a bit at least. I've had 2 rounds of chemo in total to try and stop the pesky buggers coming back, both mitomycin last year and epirubicin this year.
We all know how each other feels to some extent as we are all in this bloody club together in one way or another
Chin up my darling things can only get better as D.ream sung 

And im sorry the anxiety is troublesome for you, I've learnt to mostly give up worrying and being overly anxious as much as possible and just try and take things one step at a time, but I also don't get my hopes up too much as I don't feel that is healthy either, I prefer to try to be as pragmatic as I can about it.
Or as my mum always tells me, hope for the best prepare for the worst , that way you won't be overly dissapointed.
But please post as much as you like and get things off your chest, we are all here to support each other as much as we can, even if just to share stories try and gave a laugh or offer advice or even just comfort from a stranger.
The amount of support and genuinely amazing people I have come across since joining here is testament to the humanity that still exists even in this god forsaken world we live in these days.
I hope you can get the anxiety under control so on and hope the biopsies turn out to be nothing for you so much.
2 years on plus and counting so far summary like that anyway.......
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Much love and hope to everyone past future and present.
I also hate autocorrect and hope people can make sense out of my posts when it changes half the words I type.
Carpe diem indeed my friend. I might even think about going bungee jumping well maybe not that!! Too scared of heights 
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Much love and hope to everyone past future and present.
I also hate autocorrect and hope people can make sense out of my posts when it changes half the words I type.
