How do you deal with emotional outbursts? Partner has short temper, low motivation

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I am the significant other to someone diagnosed with bladder cancer he also has autonomic neuropathy diabetes ,he has short bursts of being ok then not ok to explosive tempers where he wants to shut everyone out and totally implode his life he. Is not managing sleep very well is tired in less than 3 hours after waking. He also has a fear of medical staff so not sure how to broach the subject.

Just someone asking how he's been results in him walking off. I am struggling with keeping him motivated and on an even keel he just thinks he's on his way out anyway don't know if it's depression or another part of his autonomic problems already diagnosed with significant cognation impairment can cancer or the bsg treatment cause more problems in this area.

Have been waiting for results of last op since 3 June just got an appointment to discuss next steps for 1st of August.

  • Hello  and welcome to the group although sorry to hear your partner is having difficulty with his treatment. The fear of the unknown can cause the mind to go in to overdrive. Once he gets his results and future treatment plan, it may make things easier as there would then be something positive to focus on. In case you missed it, one of the community nurses has replied to your other post HERE . I hope he gets some good news at the next appointment. Best wishes.

    Best wishes to All,   rily.

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  • The lack of sleep adds to the havoc, and the fear and uncertainty are very hard to cope with. The lack of certainty will lessen. Hopefully, there will be some better news soon. 

  • Scorpion,

    I am sorry to hear of your difficult situation. I know exactly how your OH feels. I had a complete meltdown the other day and uttered something that was whirling in my head out loud - causing great offence to one of my wife’s relatives. The pressure of waiting for results just got on top of me together with the burden of the disease, uncertainty and everything else. I lost control. 

    I am feeling better at the moment and am booked in for some counselling to help me better deal with things.

    Hopefully your OH will feel a bit better as a treatment plan becomes clear.


  • Thanks for your reply going to look into counselling for him and have spoken to pals at local hospital so hopefully I have now sorted out problem of shouting at member of staff , don't know if they can withdraw care when he's diabetic on insulin pump therapy .just lost all trust in medical people .just worked out how to reply I'm still a bit of a dinosaur with technology type with a thumb 

  • Councelling would be a good move if he feels it would help. Well done on mastering the technology and replying. 

  • Scorpion, sorry to hear of your situation. Where I am in London the NHS/ and local authorities provide a free therapy service called I COPE. It’s a self referral programme. I’ve used it before and it’s very good, im due to use it again soon. Depending on where you are in the uk ( if you are) then have a look what your local authority provides. 

    I hope your OH gets some help, for you both. 


  • Hi Leo, it’s the waiting that sends my mind into overdrive.. I to have booked in for some therapy/ counselling… hope it goes well for you.

    positive thoughts for you