New here

Hi and welcome to the group. The way you are feeling is normal after a cancer diagnosis. I think we have probably all had these dark thoughts in the early days, I know I certainly did. From your results it sounds as though things were caught early, and no further treatment is a positive. It is true that bladder cancer can have a habit of recurrence, but not for everyone. We are monitored regularly for many years, and if there is a recurrence, it will be caught early and dealt with. It is difficult not to think about the future, but it does get easier as time goes by. Many of us have been there and understand. Feel free to ask any questions or just use this place as somewhere to get your thoughts out. It does help sharing with others who have been there Best wishes.

Hi . I’m also new here and have too recently been diagnosed. I am 26 years old and was diagnosed at 25. A lot of what you’ve written perfectly describes my thoughts over the last few months and I want you to know that you are not alone. 

In terms of advice, I’ve found that focusing on what I love has helped me find more enjoyment recently (Arts and crafts, nature, etc). Naturally I think about my diagnosis everyday and after my first check up (since my op), I’ve actually found myself struggling a lot more - maybe the adrenaline has stopped. As someone who needs to plan, I find the future very worrying too at the moment but I just try to remember what I have around me and that I can only do the best I can every day. Being honest and talking with others about my fears has helped me share the weight of them. The fears themselves don’t go, I’m sure they won’t for a while (if ever) but it helps remind me that I’m surrounded by people who care and that I’m doing the best I can.

Please remember there is never a worry or concern too small. You’re perfectly valid to feel however you’re feeling.

Best of luck

x

Hello Virgo1979,  so pleased you've made contact because we all know how scary it is to get a cancer diagnosis. I am glad to offer support because I remember those first terrifying days all too clearly. The best news is that you have caught things so early and you will be carefully monitored for many years to come. BC is notorious for returns but some folk never have a second tumour. Since 2017 I've had 4 reoccurrences all removed by TURBT but here I am alive and kicking and enjoying a healthy life. It is desperately tough to have this happen when you are so young and have young children, but I reckon that because of them you will find the strength to crack on with life (love that phrase). Mother love is very empowering xxx This doesn't need to be a death sentence but it's perfectly reasonable to feel anxious. I wonder if Macmillan can suggest someone to help you talk through your very reasonable fears? Sending love Hx

Hi Virgo1979,Welcome to the group.There is lots of advice and support here.It’s natural to feel as you do when you are first diagnosed.I’m sure you will feel more settled as time goes on.Love and best wishes Jane x

Hi Rose,Welcome to the group.I hope you find it helpful.Love and best wishes Jane x

Hello from me too Virgo1979. As well as us motley online crew of lovely people of all ages and stages [and some of us, me for one, are partners of bc people not even having bc ourselves], if it would help to speak to someone on the phone call up Macmillan. They are very good and certainly will understand. Yes bladder cancer does often return, my husband's did, but he's onto 3 or 6 monthly checks now. Many doctors say if they had to have cancer and could choose, it would be this one because it is so treatable when it's the sort you have, and caught so early as others have mentioned.

Best, Denby

Welcome Virgo1979. I was diagnosed 2 years ago-ish at the age of 44. I have 2 kids, both under 10. It is a huge shock to the system, and I cried on the day I was diagnosed, less so for me, more for them. In the first year I obsessed over my fears: that I wouldn't be here for them, or that I wouldn't be able able to attend their wedding etc. But we all find our own way forward, one foot in front of the other. I can honestly say that I now have much less of these catastrophic thoughts than I did initially. I wouldn't say it's totally gone, every once in a while it will sneak up on me when I can't sleep at night. The "What If" moment, I call it.  Eventually it has become part of my life and I have come to realise and accept that this is a condition I can live with. (BTW I did do some therapy, and am a huge fan of CBT). While bladder cancer does often come back, if and when it does, the treatments are continued and is therefore manageable in the long term. Obviously the many treatments and operations are pain ;-) but one can live with it. Give yourself lots of time, but you will overcome and get back to good times. Hang in there.

Hi Virgo1979, I was first diagnosed in 2012 & thought that I was dying, it took me 3 recurrences, & lots of support from this wonderful community before I realised that I wasn't.  I've had many recurrence since, & I've had & still do at times get the fear (false evidence appearing real), however, for my own sanity I've come to accept it as a part of my life.  It's changed my life, but that's no bad thing as I've done stuff that I wouldn't normally do, I've met some great people along the way, & I wouldn't change a thing.  Cancer is indeed the shock of your life, you will eat. sleep, & breath the thing, we understand exactly how it is, & we'll all be here for you xxx