At the beginning

Hi 5amsung and welcome to the group, although I am sure it is not a group you would be wanting to join. We know how surreal things are in the early days. Difficult to get your head around things. It seems as though you have a good idea of the forthcoming process. As regards telling others, I told people I had a mass identified in my bladder and then gradually kept people up to date as things progressed. It is not until the biopsy has been taken during the TURBT and tested that anything will be confirmed as cancer. It was only when I got my biopsy results that the word cancer was mentioned. Although I was expecting it, it still came as a shock to hear the word. That was seven years ago, and here I am still here, so try not to despair as bc can be treated effectively. If you have any questions about the op or treatment , or anything, please ask by hitting the reply button below. Many of us have been there. Best wishes.

Thanks rily. I am preparing myself for the worst but I guess as you have mentioned preparing for it and then actually hearing it is still a shock.  

Glad to hear you have done so well and also to see so many in this group talk of the years since their first diagnosis.

Good to see how you dealt with telling people and reckon I'll take similar approach.  Probably not go out of my way to tell my family but if I'm on a call with them will bring it up.  Then as I learn more I can make more of a point in telling them to keep them up to date.

One day at a time I guess.

Hi 5amsung, and welcome to the group from me too. I have the relative's perspective as it is Mr. D. not me that has the BC. Though I have always gone to everything with him short of the operating theatre, so heard what medics said. Anyway if you have not already been given it, Macmillan do a very helpful free booklet on bc [and one on advanced bc if it comes to that]. You can download these as e-books or if you call the helpline they will post copies out to you. Depending on the person you are trying to inform, handing over a copy or arranging for one to be posted could be a good method. It leaves them with all the answers to questions they may have, in a well presented form they can refer back to when they've stopped panicking if they are the sort of person that will panic. 

Be encouraged, Mr. D had both kinds of non-invasive bc but after a fair amount of treatment has got a 6-month all clear.

Best, 

Denby

Hell 5amsung

welcome to the group. Everyone’s experiences are different but crazily similar. I was retired when I was diagnosed as having a cancerous tumour in my bladder. It was quickly removed and I started my treatment- chemotherapy and chemo radiotherapy. Still here nearly three years on. I have to have tests(flexible cystoscopy) every four months. I naturally told my wife immediately I started noticing blood in my urine and she has been with me on this journey. I told my children about the tumour following my first cystoscopy. The  four grandchildren eldest seven at the time were told Grandad had a poorly tummy. Family and close friends informed following tumour removal. I think honesty with children and family is essential. Their support is essential for the occasional dark moments.

Good luck

Garviv

Hi 5amsung

You have to get used to the idea yourself first I think, then you can tell whoever you feel needs to know.  It's your decision, but I'd be upset if a family member didn't tell me.  

I also linked the word tumour with cancer, but I've had non cancerous tumours so I always say cancer now.   Plus I've actually had people ask if the tumours are cancerous, I think when people hear the word cancer they wonder why I'm still here.

The Urologist told to expect the worst when I had my cystoscopy so I sort of knew, &  told close family members.  

It was a few months before I saw a Dr, the scary thing is I felt so well, apart from very frequent urination.  Then the urgent request got lost in the system, so that was another few months gone.  

After many recurrences I'm still rattling around annoying people as best as I can, & hope to be for many years to come.  

That surreal feeling is another familiar one. It's the sneaky aspect of cancer that it often doesn't make its presence known until far too late. In retrospect signs were that mine was there at least 3  months before diagnosis.

Saying you are having tests for a growth sounds a fair summary for anyone you wish to tell (including immediate manager at work), until you have full diagnosis. If any close family or friends seem to want more info, gauge that for yourself.

I was told it was cancer at time of first flexi cysto. This didn't phase me too much as my brother had had low grade BC for a while & I thought I knew what to expect. I was fairly public about it, wanting to demystify the 'Big C', that in this case it was no big deal. Alas, for me, mine turned out to be aggressive & needed more serious treatment. So then I was a bit more quiet about it for fear people would think I was touting for sympathy.

Anyway, given a choice of treatment, I went for best chance of cure & have been told am most likely cured. I will be on follow up for life, but 9 years since diagnosis, that's just a fairly routine part of my life.

Thanks Denby.  Started looking through some of the material available from this site and it really does give some helpful advise.  Having done a kind of quick scan of quite a few, so can now go back and pick the ones I feel most relevant.  There was one with options at the start where I was able to select what was relevant for my circumstances which was good.,

Thanks Garviv.  Sometimes things have a strange way of working themselves out, one of my brothers called about something completely different so was able to tell him and he has very kindly agreed to let the rest know.  So at least the rest of my family know for now.  Others I can work out later.

Thanks Teasswill - as I read more posts it does become obvious that while everyone is different there are many things which are the same.  Guess that is one of the values of a group like this where people can get information from others who have been there and always good to read posts like yours and the number of years since your diagnosis.

Like I just mentioned in another post the telling of my family is now taken care of.  A chance phone call from my brother gave the ideal opportunity to tell him and he has agreed to speak to the others.  Went with it is a growth and needs to be investigated.  That's the facts for now so easiest just to stick with the facts.

Getting used to the idea myself is something I thought of when I wrote the original post.  It does take a bit of getting use to,