My dad - in lockdown experiencing extreme Tiredness and lower back pain

Hello Jayb1 so glad you found your way to this site. We really understand the anxiety you feel. Numbers of us have had procedures cancelled. It is such bad luck to get a diagnosis at this time when no treatment is being done. You may find it some consolation to know that I had my tumour in my bladder for 3 years before diagnosis because my GP (now changed!) kept diagnosing gynae issues and failed to refer me to Urology when the blood appeared in my urine. Tumours often grow really slowly. Anyway eventually mine was removed and that was 2 and a half years ago, and I'm still trucking along. I didn't notice specific back pain with my tumour but I had a spinal problem also so maybe I didn't connect it. I would be tempted to suggest your dad has a phone or video conversation with his GP maybe? There might be some pain relief which could help. Sending you love. Well done for supporting your parents at this tough time, xxx 

Hi and welcome to the community in these worrying times. Sorry to hear of the situation your dad and your family are in. The operation to remove bladder tumours is a  fairly standard op, but unfortunately, many of these ops and cancer treatments have been put on hold, mainly to stop putting people at further risk and also staff shortages. The symptoms your dad is experiencing is common for bladder cancer. Difficult to give any advice, only to try and contact your dad's consultant secretary and explain the pain dad is in. In the meantime, it is very important he drinks plenty of water throughout the day. This helps flush blood and clots out and helps prevent blockages and infection. Best wishes.

Hi Jayb1,I’m so sorry your dad is in this situation.The one thing you could do is rule out a urinary infection.I’ve had some where the only symptoms were tiredness,feeling below par and backache.Your dad’s symptoms may all be due to his bladder mass but it wouldn’t hurt to drop off a urine sample for testing.I hope he doesn’t have to wait too much longer for the operation.Love & best wishes.Jane

Hello there. 

Thank you so much for the truly helpful advice. It will be of massive comfort to him when I relay this. I’m going to try to teach him how to navigate this site so that he can engage. I will definitely monitor and consider GP contAct. You are very kind.

Thank you x

Hi Jane,

Thank you do much for the excellent suggestion. I will contact the GP to arrange. 

I so appreciate you taking the time to respond.

Huge thanks

Jay 

Hi Jay,I hope your dad will come and join us here.We have been through the various procedures and can guide him and offer support,advice and friendship.Love Jane x

Hi Riley,

I was lead to believe the procedure would have been straight forward which makes it all the more frustrating I guess. Yours and other responses will arm me with good, positive, information which should lift his spirits. He is urinating an awful lot which is tiring as he wakes several times during the night and up and down the stairs all day. it is great that I will be able to show him your response as he is not great at drinking enough water. 

Thank you so much. 

Take Care 

Jay

Hi Jayb1. There is a lot of experience on here and when your dad eventually starts treatment we will be able to guide and help him through it. Can't stress the importance of taking on water though. Lack of it concentrates the urine turning it acidic. This then irritates the bladder and gives you the feeing of wanting to go all the time, even for little annoying dribbles. If he could keep a glass or bottle close at hand to sip regularly, this would help. This is something that has been drummed in to us by medics over the years. Best wishes.

Hi Jay, I know this may feel undignified, but could you consider where you can create a private corner downstairs where your Dad could use a pee bottle or plastic jug during the day? If your chemist can't sell you one, you can cut away part of a plastic milk bottle to improvise. You can always dilute the result 1:4 with water and use it on the garden; keeping the watering can in the location avoids 'visible' disposal trips. A container of water there can be used to rinse the pee one into the watering can so there is no residual smell of pee. A towelling mat on the floor will take care of any minor splashes.

All this may come handy once he does get treatment started, as the irritation from treatment can cause urgency that might prevent him 'making it' to upstairs in time. Having 'accidents' is even more upsetting than making suitable arrangements, and it might be as well to be used to them now.

Without the downstairs loo we're privileged to have, this is what I'd have done when Mr. D. started on this. As it is, we have a washing up bowl with an old flannel in the bottom on a bathmat beside the bed, with two bottles to take him through the night. His gammy leg means he can't get to the bathroom fast enough by the time he wakes. I have stuck glow-in-the-dark tape on the bottle handles to help locate them in the night. 

Happy Easter to you all, 

Denby

Happy Easter to you too Denby. I must confess the glow in the dark tape just had me laughing out loud. xx Such a really sensible solution. I bet you were a girl guide in a former life?