How are we all doing ?

It’s awful really as I keep cursing mum for leaving me with so much stuff to deal with.She started collecting things when my father died.It got worse after her second marriage ended in divorce.I know she was trying to fill a void,she never really got over dad’s death.Mum died on the 21st January and I still haven’t finished clearing.I shall be glad when it’s all done.It’s been unbelievably stressful.I don’t want to live in a completely minimalist place but nor do I want to be surrounded by clutter.Finding a happy medium is not always easy.I try to keep at least one room tidy else I get too depressed to get on.I take before and after photos of untidy areas in the house and garden and these help with the motivation to get sorted.Love Jane xx

That sounds like a really good idea, you can see your progress and how far you have come and yes I agree good to have one tidy room. Have you got lots more to do or are you half way? 

I have almost finished getting the rest of the items that need to be appraised ready.The auctioneers have all the prints,paintings and ephemera but are coming back for the books.I still have to finish filing the last of mum’s correspondence regarding the Bath Royal Literary and Scientific Institution.Hopefully all those files plus some other research will be going to Bath record office as Mum wished.Other files will be going to another record office.I still have some belongings that belonged to an elderly relative who died in 2004 in addition to an aunt’s old glassplates and family photos which she will take back.Then there are all my own belongings plus my sisters stuff which was stored here temporarily 3 yrs ago !!! My partner John also has things here too.An aunt helped me rehome some items this week.I’m more than halfway through now and getting there slowly.My sister and I are seeing the solicitor at the end of the month to discuss the way forward.It’s all a bit complicated.There is a lot to do in the garden but I will have to get someone in to help.I’m too breathless to do much outdoors at the moment.Love Jane xx

Wow a huge task for you. 

Hi Jane, if you need to pay someone to do the garden or anything else you’re struggling with I would think that you could claim from the estate, ask the solicitor, it would not be fair for you to carry the burden financially, with all families there’s people that do and people that don’t, it really shouldn’t all be down to you x

Hi,Yes it seems unfair.My sister stands to benefit from the house sale and is working.I’m off sick and she has never offered me any financial help.She was a fantastic support when I first had cancer but that has all disappeared since mum died.I feel so sad about it as we were always so close.I don’t understand how she can bail out her friend financially but can’t chip in to help me with house repairs etc.I should be getting some expenses back from the estate.I have kept all the receipts and written down everything I have paid for.

No sunset , just mist !

I think a lot of us have been through similar circumstances, it’s most probably “oh Jane can sort it out” but actually you need all the help you can get, anything that you have to pay out or pay to get done should come out of the estate, after all it’s not just you in the equation, you shouldn’t put yourself under any more stress than you can happily deal with, take care and don’t put yourself under pressure, you have enough to cope with. Speak to the solicitor, I’m sure he will be helpful. Jean x