Mums diagnosis

Hello Anonymous123, I feel for you all. Having those circumstances piled upon you and family members after the all too brief uplift from your dad's experience would weigh most people down. You are not whinging. It is commendable that you are able to give support to mum and dad whilst also caring for your children. This forum has helped and is helping hundreds of cancer patients by sharing experiences and offering moral support. You have found the right place. Bladder cancer is one of the more treatable cancers. The impending surgery that you refer to is likely to be a TURBT (Trans Urethral Resection of Bladder Tumour). It is a routine procedure that many of us have had as we have the trouble spots indicated by prior tests investigated further. Once the specialists have analysed all data and material, a treatment path will be proposed, often with options. You probably know the ropes from your dad's recent experience. Please explore this website for further possible avenues of moral support or informed explanation from Macmillan nurses. Best wishes, and hang in there. We will help all we can.

Ray x 

Hi Anonymous123,Oh that is tough for you and your family.As Ray says you have come to the right place for advice and support.Bladder cancer is nearly always treatable.Once your mum has had all her procedures,scans and results you will know what treatment is available.We are all here to help.Best wishes Jane x

Thank you so much for your kind reassuring words . The hospital called today and have booked her in for her MRI and CT scan on Sunday and Monday so they’re moving very quickly . All we can do now is keep our fingers crossed .  

Thank you for your supportive message . It’s nice to hear that this type of cancer is often treatable , I appreciate hearing that . 

I’m glad that your mum is getting her scans soon.Its a step closer to getting treatment.Let us know how she gets on.Jane x

Hi Anonymous123, just wanted to send you and your family hugs and positivity. I hope that your Mums scans are reported quickly so that a treatment plan can be put into place.

Love Ade xx

I'm so sorry your going through all of this as well after your dad's journey. 

It isn't easy at all I can understand that, but the worst part as always is the not knowing and waiting around for answers. Not to mention the uncertainty of what is next.

But I hope you get the support and answers you need soon and you will have a clearer picture going forwards. 

And I wish for a positive outcome for you all. 

Hi Anonymous 123!

Oh bless you! That's awful! I'm sorry to hear you're all having such a time of it!

Rest assured there's lots of support here for all 3 of you! You're very welcome to rant whenever you need to, it's best to get it out and not bottle up all the feelings, we all do it and need too.

Wishing you all the best and sending love and hugs your way!

 Kitty xx

Dear Anonymous123,

I read your post and think of my own daughter who has had to cope with both parents having serious illnesses at the same time as well as having patients of her own to treat.

Please think of yourself and your children first. You need space to deal with your emotions but never forget that your parents are adults who know quite well what your mother is facing. After all they and you have just been coping with your father's illness. Now it's time for him to be the carer while your mother is treated. They know the drill and fortunately it all worked well for your father.

I watched my poor daughter try to turn herself into our mother and it exhausted her mentally and physically, although she pretended it didn't. 

And of course, nobody could prevent her doing it. However please remember:

1. You need to conserve as much energy as you can for yourself and your family
2. At their ages, your parents have seen problems and hardship and they have coped so far
3. Yes, it isn't fair that this comes so soon after your father's illness but you have all learnt things from that which will help you cope with this too.
4. Worrying will not cure the cancer

Some positives:

Bladder cancer comes in various types but is treatable as others have said.

From our profiles you can see that we have treatments (not always very pleasant admittedly) that cure or give us more time (And of course lots of people leave the forum after their all-clear.)

After my chemo and bladder removal - my cancer was muscle-invasive - and provision of a stoma and bag I went back to my normal life. At my first literature group an elderly woman bounced over to me and said ' my husband had that op and a stoma more than 20 years ago and  died of old age not cancer.' I count that as a win and something to aim at. I'm now 72.

Please keep in touch and we can support you as you all go through this.

All the best,

Latestart

Thank you so much for your lovely reply, I’m blown away by the kindness of the people in this community . 
I’m pleased to hear you have returned to normal life after your treatment. I wish you lots of health for your future xx