How do you turn down the anxiety?

Hello Mark, don’t forget a BCG Instillation although we think it is simple is still intrusive and can cause irritation and slight bleeding. Moreover, the BCG  is a live bacteria that attacks possible cancer cells. Trust your medical team! Try not to overthink things. Easier said than done I know. Garviv 

Thanks, Garviv 
I do find the way the whole BCG thing becomes just part of one's week sort of humorous in a bizarre way.
I had the guys at the conservation club cracking up (and simultaneously semi-horrified) the other day describing my Friday afternoons.
It is sort of surreal when one thinks about it.
Thanks for the encouragement.
Mark

Your welcome. Garviv

Hello Mark, I've not had BCG therapy. My radiotherapy was 2017 then two TURBTs in 2018. I do not have any significant pain and, like you, I can now visit hospitals for treatment without becoming too wound up. Initially, in 2017/18 I was a bag of nerves, so I've improved on that front. The underlying anxiety that is almost inevitable when facing a cancer diagnosis is thus generally under control...until I see pink or sometimes red outflow through my Foley catheter plumbing. Although it does not cause pain and typically I notice this unwelcome symptom many times per year, I still cannot control the mildly suppressed terror when it occurs. My heart races, BP goes through the roof and I feel extremely tense until drinking litres of water takes the visual trigger away. It can take anything from an hour to 2 days before my confidence recovers, depending on the severity. The only method I've found to combat this disruptive mental process is hypnosis - on you tube! It took me a while to find a channel which offered a combination of voice quality and content that I could tolerate. It helps me, but the process is nothing like 'stage hypnosis.'  No instant cure or a feeling of being locked into a spell. It just seems to train the mind to calm down. Caffeine withdrawal can be nasty. Don't do that unless all else fails. Good luck!  

Thank you RayMK 
Your mention of hypnosis reminds me I've had a bit of experience with meditation, and I'm going to look into that again!
Re coffee ... for sure. I've been hitting the stuff since I was 12, and I've now got it down to two mugs in the morning and that's it ... but I'd like to keep that two cups. Gave up the booze, cigs and other substances ... would sort of like to keep a bit of caffeine, eh?
Best,
Mark

Hi Mark,

Everyone worries for sure, I suffer from anxiety even before my diagnosis but for some reason I'm coping really well now with the mental side of my treatments.

Although I probably worry more about being late for my appointment's than the actual treatment's. Strange but just how my brain is wired.

I know what to expect now and my BCGs are 6 months apart and in my mind it's only 3 days in 6 Months... The side affects go on for longer than the treatment of course.

I'm knocked out every 3 months for a biopsy and I don't even mind that. Although I find all the fussing and form filling out a bit tiresome at time's.

I actually gave up coffee and caffeine tea, just to help with the urgency.. but I would never preach about giving up things you enjoy.. plus I like a beer or two which is undoubtedly worse for me.. we all need something right.

Good to hear you've kept your sense of humour also. That helps.... Not as much as beer..  

Hope the rest of your BCGs go well.

Thanks BFG 
I think I'm one of those sorts who thinks there's always something I can do, or something I should be doing something differently. In reality, I think there are times when the best we can is just show up, take part and wait and see how it all turns out.
I think I'll still have a couple mugs of coffee tomorrow, but maybe I'll knock down the strength of the brew.
Best.
Mark

I know what you mean, I changed things and I often think what else can I do etc.

I'm sure many people change their lifestyles after diagnosis, myself included. 

Before being diagnosed I was told my cholesterol was slightly high, not high enough for meds but a warning to change things.... Pretty much got a list of foods that aren't good and gave them up.... Processed meats ( bacon etc), butter, cheese, prawns (wasn't aware prawns raise cholesterol).... to name a few. 

It's strange how we make these changes post diagnosis and not before but I guess we think we're indestructible until something happens.

I still like my couple of pints a week, down the pub catching up with friends. Although beer seems to be on every naughty list.

Enjoy your morning coffee's.. I can almost smell them brewing.

Trevor 

I refuse to completely give up my daily coffee. I am a cancer patient since early last year and currently am on the BCG treatment now at six month intervals (next treatment in February). I think the treatment has been successful so far. The side effects have been pretty severe for me,especially the last treatment which ended in August, but I have been improving ever since and almost feel normal at present. I know this can be different for each patient so please do not assume your experience will be similar to mine. I have travelled the whole road of anxiety about this cancer and treatment, and I am still doing so. It will go up again when I have my next cystoscopy in January but not because of the procedure itself. I am as surprised as anyone that I have become used to the insertion of a long object through the penis and prostate into the bladder every three months, but my urologist is excellent and I hardly feel it when he does it. The one TURBT I have had so far was more difficult for me and I really don’t want to have to undergo another if possible. I don’t think there were complications and I was fully “scraped out” but the rigid instrument is very hard on the urethra and I took many weeks to start to recover. I retired earlier in the year as I could barely function (fatigue, blood in urine, back pain) during the months prior to the diagnosis in August 2023. The cancer has changed my life probably permanently which I am still learning to live with. But I am not always anxious about it at this stage which is a substantial improvement for me. There is not one day I don’t think about it however.

Thank you CDN 
To date, my experience with the BCG hasn't been remarkable. Honestly, I think I've been a touch on the lucky side so far. 'Course, while we're in the middle of it, none of us know whether it's going to work!
Like you, I find it remarkable how accustomed we can get to getting half naked, hopping onto the exam table and getting some tubing run up through our privates and having some bacteria hosed into our bodies.
It's sort of surreal.
Also bizarre and sometimes laughable to me: How one's feelings about one's day (and even life at that moment) are shaped (or should I say colored?) by the color of one's pee!
So far, for me, not all of cancer is excruciating or debilitating ... but it is all just so danged weird! It kind of messes with one's mind sometimes.
I do truly appreciate having this place to talk about it. You guys are the best.
Mark