Trying to do the right thing

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Evening all 

Many years ago my now aunt married my mums brother my uncle obviously and she had nieces of her own and myself and my brother where page boys and the two girls nieces flower girls at their wedding fast forward a few years and we all became part of the same social circle and good friends and close.

unfortunately one of the sisters received a Cancer diagnosis  a few years ago and was doing well not bladder cancer way more serious unfortunately a cancer where treatment options are really limited. 

anyway me and the niece in question having been speaking alot lately and I’ve tried to only skirt round the basics not wanting to say to much as didn’t want give her any misinformation you know what I mean it’s got to a point now where I will only mention when asked where am upto when asked by my uncles wife when she has said please keep us upto speed but I haven’t I’ve only mentioned things I want to just to keep their minds at rest  things have took a turn for the worst unfortunately for the niece I’m really gutted about it if I’m honest but her diagnosis was a bad one I’ve found out this past week top end of the the scale I’ve hated not keeping my uncle up to speed the minute I know anything but I feel like I’m being a I’m alright Jack sort of person I know he wouldn’t think that but doesn’t stop me thinking about their feelings and their niece 

Ste 

  • Can only send a hug, what a tricky situation you are in. Denby

  • Hi Ste,

    Sorry to her about the niece. I can't really give any advice (I'm kinda rubbish at this sort of thing), but ultimately it's really a personal choice how much you want to speak about your journey.

    It sounds like you're close to your uncle and they're concerned with your wellbeing. So I'm also sure they will completely understand that you are not always willing to chat about what is going on.

    Try not to beat yourself up, 

    Wishing you and the niece all the best.

    Trevor 

  • Cheers Trevor and Denby it’s been doing my head in this past two weeks the lady in question is now in the hospice and really ill and when I say way serious than what we are all up against I say it through gritted teeth are there any good ones I don’t think there is but I remember my consultant saying if your going to get cancer bladder cancer is a preferable one and I will hold onto those words 

    Ste 

  • Hey Ste 

    Such a difficult position to be in, but I think that honesty is the best policy here. I'm sure your Aunt and Uncle and their Neice would all want to know how well you are doing! It takes nothing away from the love and concern you have for the Neice. Stay true to your lovely self. Heart️ 

    Sending hugs,

    Love Ade xx

  • Hi Ste, my heart goes out to you man, very difficult personal decision to make. You are so kind and thoughtful to be putting their feelings first in your mind. My own circumstances have put me in similar position.last year , my lovely sister died out of the blue , she had a stroke about 6 weeks before I was diagnosed. I havent told my siblings about my diagnosis even now. It troubles me from time to time, but as i say its a very personal decision we make depending on our own individual circumstances. I dont think its a one size fits all thing. I hope you can find some peace in your thoughts . take care

    Much love Angela x

  • Thanks everyone I do feel Im doing the right thing now  by only opening up when asked where I’m upto 

    Ste