Dad Struggling Since Diagnosis

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Hi. My Dad was diagnosed with Bladder Cancer about three years ago. The treatment has been ongoing now through the years since he was diagnosed and even when there is a period of time where he isn’t having treatment he’s constantly waiting for his appointment to have a camera to see if more treatment is needed etc. He was also more recently diagnosed with Skin Cancer and had to have some removed from his back. Through the years since he was diagnosed with cancer his behaviour has drastically changed but more recently it has become a huge concern to myself and my family. He has severe health anxiety and every time he feels any slight pain or has a cut/scab/mark he’s googling symptoms and diagnosing himself with other health conditions. We’ve had to go to A&E with him recently as he was adamant he was having a heart attack and he’s been sent for test after test to see what every pain or symptom could be being caused by and every test is coming back with nothing but he still believes there’s something wrong with him. He’s having panic attacks and is clearly feeling anxious. He says he would rather die than have a bag if that would be the end result for him to be able to survive without treatment. He’s also very angry all the time and is clearly and obviously struggling with his mental health. But he is refusing help for his mental health even with the strain it’s having on my family. My Mum is struggling because she feels sorry for him and understands why he’s feeling the way he is but he’s also taking everything out on her. Whenever it’s been brought up about his mental health he denies struggling mentally or uses the excuse of having too much wrong with him physically to worry about his mental health. Is there anything we could do to get him help without him being the one who asks for it?

  • Hi  and welcome to the group although sorry to hear your Dad is struggling with his mental health as well as the cancer diagnosis. We know that even if we are clear, the niggling doubts remain and every ache and pain makes us think twice. If it comes to it, living without a bladder is not the end of the world and many here live normal lives with a bag. Google is not the best place as there is a lot of out of date misinformation out there. Would it be possible to get him to call the Macmillan support line to talk to somebody ( 0800 808 0000 ) He would find them very helpful. Best wishes.

    Best wishes to All,   rily.

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